Picks: Week 8

Since Fred is too much of a lazy dickbreath to do picks, I'll pick for him. Let it be known that these picks WILL count toward his picking record. Here goes.

Game of the Week: Red Tiger vs. themadoompaloompas
Who wins it: themadoompaloompas
Why: Easy. Bhavik is on a W2 streak. And we all know it is physically impossible to lose when you're on a winning streak. Plus everyone knows Koreans only win at Starcraft and communism.
Margin of victory: Over 9000 points

Game 2: Core Protection 3D vs. Mud Eaters
Who wins it: Core Protection 3D
Why: Once again, easy. What do you think will happen if a 3D football player (CP3D) runs into a 2D football player (Mud Eaters)? Exactly, the 2D player will be crushed like paper is crushed by rock in the popular game of Rock Paper Scissors. Wait shit, that's a bad example. But 3D > 2D, trust me. PUT ON YOUR 3D GLASSES SON!
Margin of victory: e^x points where x = 3

Game 3: Team Canuckistan vs. The Ox
Who wins it: Team Canuckistan
Why: As we all know, when Ryan doesn't switch out his bye-week players, his QB will throw for 6 TDs in the first half. He's at a 100% success rate on that already so it WILL happen this week. However, since I'm impersonating Fred here, I have to pick myself to win regardless of how stacked the odds are against me.
Margin of victory: 69 points (Final score will be 188-119, you heard it here first)

Game 4: The DAWGS vs. Disciples of Eleven
Who wins it: Disciples of Eleven
Why: Because Taylor's gay.
Margin of victory: π points

Game 5: Las Tortugas Negras vs. Carnegie PantyRaiders
Who wins it: Las Tortugas Negras
Why: After losing last week, Quinton is sure to play the race card (again) and fantasy football will have to let him win if it doesn't want to be called racist. But Quinton can't really do anything about it cause he left his shank at my house like 3 years ago.
Margin of victory: Fried chicken and grape drank

There you have it, I'm ready to go 5-0 this week. Fred's current picking record of 16-14 will soon be 21-14. You're welcome in advance breh.

-Jon

Power Rankings - Week 8

I've decided to try something a little bit different for my What We've Learned column this week. I'm doing this is the style of the NFL Power Rankings (For those of you who don't know what Power Rankings are, click here. Basically I'll be ranking the teams according to a top-secret formula (a.k.a. who I think is better) and adding a short "What We've Learned" blurb for each. Enjoy.

	TEAM	RANK	REC	WHAT WE'VE LEARNED
	Mud Eaters	1	6-1	After a convincing win over (former) #1 Team Canuckistan, there is no doubt in anyone's mind who the team to beat is.
	Team Canuckistan	2	5-2	The loss of TE Dallas Clark may hurt this team more than we thought. A rebound win against The Ox could do wonders for this team's morale.
	Red Tiger	3	4-3	How this team is able to keep winning record with #1 draft pick Chris Johnson putting up such mediocre numbers is beyond me.
	The DAWGS	4	4-3	Taylor actually does pretty well when he's not being traderaped by Kevin. Let's see if he's learned his lesson about intraconference trading.
	Carnegie PantyRaiders	5	3-4	After being repeatedly killed by MNF in earlier weeks, Jaime accomplished the single clutchest (is that a word?) comeback in the history of the SNFL - and probably all of fantasy football
	The Ox	6	4-3	This team has a decent record, but its lack of a bench will hurt during the bye weeks especially this week, when he will be reduced to only 1 running back.
	Las Tortugas Negras	7	3-4	This team can only go as far as first-round pick Drew Brees will take them. And lately, Brees has been going nowhere.
	Core Protection II	8	2-5	The second version of Core Protection (also known as The Core Oompaloompas) is much better than the first. Unfortunately for this team, Romo's injury on Monday night cost them a sure win.
	Disciples of Eleven	9	2-5	Definitely the most inconsistent team in the SNFL, we're sure to see flashes of brilliance in the coming weeks, but will it be enough?
	themadoompaloompas	10	2-5	It won't be long until Bhavik can no longer be the laughingstock of the SNFL. A win this week could point to an epic comeback. Yeah, I said it.

That's it for this week! As Jon LaJoie would say, "I'm out of here, I gotta go have sex with A LOT of girls."

-Jon

10 Questions

This is a special week for 10 Questions, after last week’s NFC shutout with every team winning with 100+ points (which I will now call this amazing feat the Nasty Trick), I will now unveil a brand new ranking strategy. 

1. Mud Eaters: This team is plugging in players at the right time, but how long can their streak last?

2. The Ox: This team is doing what they did last year, riding on the points from their running game, but with the high scoring Team Canuckistan up next, can Peterson (gulp) run all over the Patriots D?

3. The DAWGS: After watching Tony Romo go down with a game ending injury, does this team finally have someone to share their pain?

4. Carnegie PantyRaiders: Since this team didn’t even realize they had a chance to win their game on Monday Night, do they even deserve their .15 win?

5. themadoompaloompas: How screwed would this team be if they had actually traded Michael Turner?

6. Team Canuckistan: Why does this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNh4wPZbJ7Q remind me of their game last week?

7. Red Tiger: Is this the most underrated team in the SNFL or can they just not win the big game?

8. Las Tortugas Negras: Does everyone now understand why I don’t include Drew Brees in any conversation that includes Tom “MAI BOI” Brady and Peyton Manning?

9. Core Protection II: I guess the sequel is never better than the original? 

10. The Disciples of Eleven: They’re not as bad as their record indicates, but is next week’s game a must win? 

-Taylor

Week 7 Recap

I don't even know what to say about this week. I can't even make fun of Bhavik, what is wrong with the world?

Results
2. Mud Eaters def 1. Team Canuckistan (by 47.15 points)
6. The DAWGS def 3. Red Tiger (by 22.55 points)
4. The Ox def 8. Disciples of Eleven (by 28.50 points)
10. themadoompaloompas def 5. Las Tortugas Negras (by 20.65 points)
7. Carnegie PantyRaiders def 9. Core Protection II (by 0.15 points)

Record Update
Carnegie PantyRaiders (McDermott): Smallest margin of victory - 0.15 points against Core Protection II (Varn)
Previous record of 0.30 points was held by Red Tiger (Lee) over Las Tortugas Negras (Wilson) in Week 1 of the 2010 season

Record Watch
Core Protection (Varn) has now tied themadoompaloompas' (Patel) record of 5 losses in a row.

Conference Stats
SFC vs. NFC record: 6-9
SFC Total Points: 3331.10
NFC Total Points: 3427.25

Analysis of the Week
This week's featured stat is sponsored by Being Fed Up With Bullshit Defenses^TM!! Here is an analysis of the two most underrated positions in fantasy football, kickers and defenses. I've compiled each team's total points in these categories, as well as their weekly average. I was feeling artsy, so the highest scorers are highlighted with warm colors (because they are "hot," see what I did there??) and the lowest scorers are highlighted with cool colors. Enjoy.

Rank/Team Name	K	K Avg	DEF	D Avg
Mud Eaters	47	6.64	83	11.86
Team Canuckistan	64	9.14	24	3.43
Red Tiger	59	8.36	60	8.57
The Ox	67	9.50	69	9.86
The DAWGS	74	10.57	75	10.72
Carnegie PantyRaiders	55	7.79	71	10.14
Las Tortugas Negras	72	10.29	61	8.71
Core Protection II	45	6.36	84	12.00
Disciples of Eleven	52	7.36	92	13.14
themadoompaloompas	38	5.43	106	15.14

As you can see, all my defenses combined over the first 7 weeks don't even add up to Taylor's Redskins D this week. Seriously, WTF is this.

Anyway, enjoy the rest of this retarded faggot ni- (caught myself there sorry Quinton) week, see you in week 8, etc etc.

-Jon

Analysis of Tony Romo

Tony Romo is a faggot.

Picks: Week 7

Interesting. My SFC picking strategy put me at 3-2 last week. Maybe there's something to this. Anyway I don't have a lot of time right now so I'm going to give an abridged version of my picks.

Game of the Week: The Mud Eaters vs. Team Canuckistan

Who wins it: Team Canuckistan

Why: Its simple. The Mud Eaters are the best of the Nasty Conference. Team Canuckistan is the best of the Sick Conference. SFC > NFC. Easy.

Margin of Victory: 10 points

Game 2: Core Protection II vs. The Carnegie PantyRaiders

Who wins it: Carnegie PantyRaiders

Why: Core Protection is going through a midseason crisis after being defeated by previously 0-6 madoompaloompas. He has completely restructured his team this week, resulting in Core Protection II but I don't know if it will be enough to beat the #3 team in points for.

Margin of Victory: 15 points

Game 3: themadoompaloompas vs. Las Tortugas Negras

Who wins it: themadoompaloompas

Why: If Bhavik can win once he can win again. He has been criminalized for "giving all his good players to Core Protection" but I think we will find his team still has a few tricks.

Margin of Victory: 5 points

Game 4: The DAWGS vs. Red Tiger

Who wins it: Red Tiger

Why: Speaking of controversial trades, the DAWGS have made a few. The DAWGS are playing down this week against a strong SFC opponent. This spells certain NFC disaster.

Margin of Victory: 10 points

Game 5: The Ox vs. The Disciples of Eleven

Who wins it: The Ox

Why: Maybe Ryan knew what he was doing when he picked some sleepers in the draft. His starting lineup certainly has some strong players. A kicker in the sixth round was just unnecessary though.

Margin of Victory: 15 points

For those keeping score at home I am currently 13-12.

-Fred

Midseason Awards

It’s the half way point of the season, and playoff contenders are beginning to separate from playoff pretenders. But, before we get to the postseason, I’ll take a look at who would win awards if the season ended today.

Premature Playoff Picture:

SFC: 1. Team Canuckistan, 2. Red Tiger, 3. Las Tortugas Negras  

NFC: 1. Mud Eaters, 2. The Ox, 3. The DAWGS

Commissioner’s Trophy (Most wins)

- Team Canuckistan

SFC Champion

- Team Canuckistan

NFC Champion

- Mud Eaters

Owner of the Year

- Bhavik Patel

Fantasy MVP (Player with most points)

- Peyton Manning

SNFL MVP (Overall best player)

- Arian Foster

The Sick Nasty Award (Given to the owner who exemplifies the principles of the SNFL)

- Quinton Wilson  

The PWC Trophy

- ????????? (We shall see)

Good luck to you my fellow SNFL owners,

LONG LIVE THE SNFL

-Taylor

10 Questions

1.      Team Canuckistan: Are we going to have to wait till finals week before this team loses another game?

2.      Mud Eaters: How good are you when you don’t even need Arian Forster, this team’s superstar player, to win a game?

3.      Red Tiger: Are the Tennessee Titans the definition of douche bags? If we all agree, can The DAWGS get those 5 points they deserve?

4.      The Ox: Would it be wrong to trade Randy Moss for Deion Branch?

5.      The DAWGS: Yeah… look at #3?

6.      Las Tortugas Negras:  How is it that even after this team losses Antonio Gates, they eek out a victory (that they did not deserve)?

7.      Carnegie PantyRaiders:  If James Harrison does retire (and by all means, please do) should the Shitsburgh Steelers steal this team’s moniker?  

8.      The Disciples of Eleven: They were the very worst, but after seeing the fall of Core Protection, could this team become a legitimate playoff contender?  

9.      Core Protection II: Has any team in the history of any sport ever given up so much hope on their team that they essentially make a new one?   

10.  themadoompaloompas: Has any chance of them winning another game been thrown out the window?

-Taylor

Week 6 Recap

We're almost halfway through the regular season, and the sweet smell of interconference matchups is wafting through the autumn air. All five games this week pitted the SFC against the NFC, with varying degress of success for both conferences. I'm slightly disappointed that the SFC only won 3 of the 5 matchups this week (Thanks Fred). But it's ok, Bhavik won't be winning any more after dumping every single decent player on his team. And now that I've fulfilled my weekly Making Fun Of Bhavik requirement, here are the stats:

Results
1. Team Canuckistan def 6. Carnegie PantyRaiders (by 30.70 points)
2. Mud Eaters def 7. Disciples of Eleven (by 45.55 points)
4. Red Tiger def 3. The Ox (by 28.3 points)
8. Las Tortugas Negras def 5. The DAWGS (by 3.85 points)
10. themadoompaloompas def 9. Core Protection (by 4.15 points)

Record Update
Team Canuckistan (Berthiaume): Most 100-point games in a row (6)
Previous record of 4 was held by Canadian Pwnage (Berthiaume) in Weeks 4-7 of the 2009 season. (Yes, I forgot to update this last week)

Record Watch
Core Protection (Varn) is now within one loss of tying themadoompaloompas' (Patel) record of 5 losses in a row

Conference Stats
SFC vs. NFC Record: 6-4
SFC Total Points: 2901.55
NFC Total Points: 2878.70

Week 7 promises to be just as exciting, with 5 more interconference matchups scheduled. Can the NFC catch up to its rival conference? We shall see. Until then, I leave you with a little something to pass the time. This shit never gets old, seriously.



-Jon

Analysis of Kevin Kolb - Week 6 Edition

Kevin Kolb is not a faggot anymore.



Kevin Kolb is not a faggot anymore.



Kevin Kolb is not a faggot anymore.



Kevin Kolb is not a faggot anymore.



Kevin Kolb is not as much of a faggot.



Kevin Kolb is not a faggot anymore.



Kevin Kolb is not a faggot anymore.

Picks: Week 6

Alright it is time to admit it. I'm not a good picker. Its out. I just cannot account for the upsets and players not performing the way it looks they will. So this week I will be trying an whole new strategy. See if you can figure it out. On an unrelated note, this week is the first week of the season where all five games are SFC vs. NFC. Should be interesting.

Game of the Week: Team Canuckistan vs. The Carnegie PantyRaiders

The top scoring team vs. the second best team in points for. What an appropriate interleague matchup. The difference between these two teams of course is their record. Team Canuckistan is top in the SNFL with a 4-1 record, while The Carnegie PantyRaiders are 2-3. A win over Team Canuckistan would be nice for the PantyRaiders' playoff hopes but Team Canuckistan does not give up wins easily.

Who wins it: Team Canuckistan

Why?: Their team is absolutely stacked. They consistently have scored over 100 points and their one loss came from a miracle against The Disciples of Eleven. Don't bank on it happening this week.

Margin of Victory: 5 points

Game 2: Core Protection vs. themadoompaloompas

themadoompaloompas sport the worsts losing streak of all time (L5) while Core Protection has been on a downhill slide since week 2 and has the second worst losing streak in the SNFL (L3). Basically, both teams need a win this week, but only one can get it. Core Protection claims his season is turning arounde with increased production at WR and RB, but only time will tell. themadoompaloompas have put up respectable scores at times but for what?

Who wins it: Core Protection

Why?: I know I'm picking myself here but its themadoompaloompas. Besides I have Jamaal Charles who is now the starting RB for Kansas City $$$$$$.

Margin of Victory: 10 points

Game 3: The DAWGS vs. Las Tortugas Negras

The DAWGS are hoping their new picture can bring them immortality. Las Tortguas Negras are hoping their new picture will make it a little more obvious what their team name means. Las Tortugas Negras are on a two game winning streak and hoping to turn their season around. A win against The DAWGS would be huge.

Who wins it: Las Tortugas Negras

Why?: This team has momentum and is operating at full capacity. The DAWGS on the otherhand have suffered trade rapes from The Mud Eaters as well as three players on bye this week.

Margin of Victory: 10 points

Game 4: The Champ of 2009 (The Ox?) vs. Red Tiger

The Champ of 2009 just came off the highest score of the season. Red Tiger just two weeks ago was hailed as a dark horse SNFL Title contender. Now they are on a two week losing streak and need a win to keep this playoff talk alive. This game should be very interesting due to both teams inconsistency.

Who wins it: Red Tiger

Why?: You know... I just feel it in my gut.

Margin of Victory: 5 points

Game 5: The Mud Eaters vs. The Disciples of Eleven

Is Garrick a giant killer? After posting the worst score of all time in Week 1 he has since gone on to take down the rank 1 in points for (Team Canuckistan) and rank 2 in points for (The Carnegie PantyRaiders). Now they look to take down the rank 3 in points for and solidify their giant killing abilities. Can it be done? Last week The Mud Eaters proved that their team is more than just Arian Foster with a big win over themadoompaloompas.

Who wins it: The Disciples of Eleven

Why?: He's a giant killer. I haven't been able to pick him on the big games so this week I think I got it... Yeah that's it.

Margin of Victory: 5 points

I'm going to stop naming largest margin of victory and smallest because you can figure that stuff out yourself. Also I feel like it effects what points I put down because I don't like putting ties down for largest and smallest. Good luck tomorrow everyone!

SFC PRIDE

-Fred

10 Questions

1. Team Canuckistan: Could their impending game against the Carnegie PantyRaiders result in more combined points scored than themadoompaloompas have points in an entire season?

2. Mud Eaters: Now that we know that this team has the kiss of death with trades, should Core Protection and Carnegie PantyRaiders be looking for replacements.

3. Red Tiger: What the hell happened to this team?!

4. The DAWGS: With Mark Clayton going down with a season ending injury, is it too much to ask for some consistency?

5. The Ox: With a game that brought back memories from their championship season, could the Champs be back?

6. Carnegie PantyRaiders: Is their lack of being able to win the crucial games going to be the theme of their season?

7. Core Protection: After all that talk of having a great defense, did this team forget to play offense?

8. The Elevolutionaries: The last time this team got a huge win, the next week they let us down, and with a game against the Mud Eaters, could we be in for another disappointment?

9. Las Tortugas Negras: Being the only team not in first place with a 2 game win streak, has this team turned their season around?

10. themadoompaloompas: If the San Francisco 49ers say they can win their division, why can’t this team? 

 -Taylor    

Week 5 Recap

What an eventful week! Week 5 has had the most combined points scored of any week so far, with 7 teams scoring above 100 points and Ryan setting the highest score of the season with a 137.85. So here's what happened.

1. Canadian Pwnage   def   3. Red Tiger (by 15.30 points)
2. Mud Eaters  def  10. themadoompaloompas (by 12.35 points)
7. The Ox  def   4. The TRONS (by 42.70 points - largest margin)
9. Disciples of Eleven  def  5. Carnegie PantyRaiders (by 4.00 points - smallest margin)
8. Snappin Turtles   def  6. Core Protection (by 11.60 points)

SFC  3 - 2  NFC
SFC Total Points: 2423.05
NFC Total Points: 2413.10

A new record was set this week! This great honor goes to Bhavik, with a losing streak of 5 games! The previous record was held by The TRONS (T. Oxendine) on two separate occasions - Weeks 1 to 4 and Weeks 10 to 13 (2009 Season).

Here is this week's featured stat, a summary of the average points earned by each team.

Ranking / Team Name	Avg. Pts
1. Team Canuckistan	113.55
2. Carnegie PantyRaiders	105.93
3. Mud Eaters	102.05
4. The Ox	98.41
5. Red Tiger	96.50
6. The Disciples of Eleven	93.34
7. Snappin Turtles	91.14
8. The TRONS	90.56
9. Core Protection	90.08
10. themadoompaloompas	84.47

That's all for now, now go prepare for Week 6! Unless you're Jaime, then you should probably go move all your starters onto the bench and leave them there until next Monday.

-Jon

Top 10 Moments of 2009

This column is dedicated to the inaugural season of the Sick Nasty Football League, in which I’ll look back at the matchups that pitted Canadian Pwnage (Berthiaume), The Ox (R. Oxendine), The TRONS (T. Oxendine), and Snappin Turtles (Wilson) against one another. This list will begin with the number 10 moment, to the greatest moment in SNFL history. So sit back, grab your favorite blank, a nice cup of tea or hot chocolate, and enjoy the Top 10 Moments of 2009! 

10. Brother Bowl I: The TRONS and The Ox meet for the first time ever, with The Ox (0-2) beating The TRONS (0-2) for their first victory of the season.

9. All Good Things Must Come to an End: The Ox (2-3) defeats Canadian Pwnage (5-0), giving them their first loss of the season.

8. So it Begins: Opening week of the first ever SNFL season, Canadian Pwnage defeats The Ox 122.22-92.62 and Snappin Turtles defeat The TRONS 114.32-76.08. 

7. Victory at Last: The TRONS (0-4) finally win their first game of the season by beating The Ox (2-2) 116.54-72.90.

6. Killing Spree: The Ox defeats Canadian Pwnage (10-1), The TRONS (3-9), and Snappin Turtles (7-6) with huge performances by Maurice Jones-Drew and Chris Johnson.

5. Two is Always Better Than One: Canadian Pwnage wins their first five games, and after one loss, they win 5 more.

4. Time to Bring Out the Big Guns: In back to back games, the Snappin Turtles defeat The TRONS (1-4) 142.96-68.36 and The Ox (3-3) 145.12-71.32 for the largest margin of victory and the most points ever scored in SNFL history.   

3. Game of the Week: Canadian Pwnage (7-1) defeats The Ox (3-5) 138.92-132.88 in closet game in SNFL history.

2. Upset of the Century: The TRONS (4-10) defeat Canadian Pwnage (10-4) 121.48-99.72 in first round of the playoffs.

1. We are the Champions: The Ox (7-7) defeats The TRONS (4-10) 130.78-122.04, winning first ever SNFL Championship Game.

-Taylor

Picks: Week 5

DEAR GOD! I am approaching .500 faster than the Jacksonville Jaguars are approaching their first playoff berth in 3 years. I gotta fix this and to do so I am taking a new strategy with the picks. 80% gut instinct, 20% statistics. This is sure to outrage some people but we'll see when I'm 5-0 which strategy is better.

Game of the Week: The TRONS (The DAWGS) vs. The Ox (The Champ of 2009)

It is the Brother Bowl! So far every Game of the Week I have chosen has been the largest margin of victory and this time could very well be it too. When it comes to the SNFL no game is as rich in history as this one. Back in 2009 before the PWC Trophy this was the SNFL Championship game which The Ox won. Now The TRONS look to avenge what could have been a championship season despite having gone 4-10 regular season.

Who wins it: The TRONS

Why?: The TRONS are the epitome of inconsistent right now, but their 3-1 record shows that they are able to get wins. On top of this The Ox's starting lineup is riddled with injuries, and as of now he has no kicker.

Margin of Victory: 15 points

Game 2: Core Protection vs. Snappin Turtles (Las Tortugas Negras)

The previously defeated Snappin Turtles picked up their first win last week against The Elevolutionaries. Core Protection suffered its second loss in a row and now people are beginning to question whether Core Protection's first two wins were just flukes. The Snappin Turtles look to capitalize on the momentum while Core Protection looks to turn their's around and avoid a losing record.

Who wins it: Core Protection

Why?: Both teams have favorable matchups this coming week and this game very well could be the highest scoring game of the week. Core Protection, however, simply has players who can do more with the matchups they have.

Margin of Victory: 5 points

Game 3: Canadian Pwnage (Team Canuckistan) vs. Red Tiger

A faceoff for king of the SFC. Both teams are 3-1 but only one will be the top of the SFC after this week. Canadian Pwnage has yet to go sub-100 while Red Tiger is coming off his lowest score to date. There are rumors that Red Tiger is the best team in the SNFL but Canadian Pwnage looks to prove that his highest point total in the SNFL is that way for a reason.

Who wins it: Canadian Pwnage

Why?: Chris Johnson's numbers have been far from consistent and he forms the nucleus of Red Tiger. Meanwhile Peyton Manning is playing the worst pass defense in the NFL this week. Expect a Manning to Clark feeding frenzy and huge numbers from Canadian Pwnage.

Margin of Victory: 4 points (smallest margin of victory)

Game 4: themadoompaloompas vs. The Mud Eaters

The winless madoompaloompas are hoping to pick up their first win against the Mud Eaters (3-1) and avoid setting the new record for longest losing streak. The Mud Eaters will do everything in their (and Arian Foster's) power to make sure that that record is set. They also hope to assert themselves as unquestioned kings of the NFC.

Who wins it: The Mud Eaters

Why?: If there is one pick I can guarantee to be correct each week it is the one involving themadoompaloompas. Themadoompaloompas just lack any go-to playmakers that the other teams in the SNFL have and this is proving to make a win very difficult.

Margin of Victory: 20 points (largest margin of victory)

Game 5: The Disciples of Eleven vs. The Carnegie PantyRaiders

The battle of name changers. This is also the tiebreaker in the interleague series. The SFC-NFC record is 2-2 and this week both teams are fighting for the honor of their conferences. The 1-3 Disciples of Eleven let me down last week with their upset to Las Tortugas Negras. The Carnegie PantyRaiders have been rolling so far this season and for some reason are projected to do insanely well each week.

Who wins it: The Carnegie PantyRaiders

Why?: The Carnegie PantyRaiders' record may not be impressive, but their points for definitely is. Meanwhile The Disciples of Eleven have been terribly inconsistent and there is no telling as to what will happen this week. Even if they have a great game they will find it hard to win against their NFC opponent.

Margin of Victory: 10 points

I sure hope I stay out of .500!

-Fred

Remembering the 2009 Season

There are few moments in time were we as human beings can change the course of history. Many will remember the year 2009 as being an important, no, THE most important moment in all of world history. In the year 2009, four men came together to form a fantasy football league that would shake the fate of all mankind.

Founded by T. Oxendine, the league held its first draft with four members: Berthiaume, Wilson, R. Oxendine, and T. Oxendine. The first ever pick was Adrian Peterson of the Minnesota Vikings by Berthiaume. The newly created league was named the Sick Nasty Football League, and its first game began on September 10, 2009 with the Snappin Turtles (Wilson) defeating The TRONS (T. Oxendine), and Canadian Pwnage (Berthiaume) defeating The Ox (R. Oxendine).

The first SNFL season was an overwhelming success. Canadian Pwnage ended with the most points in a season (1554.32) and most wins (10-4), while The Ox and Snappin Turtles each tied with a 7-7 record. The regular season was not a successful one for The TRONS (4-10), who set a record for most consecutive losses (4) at the beginning of the season. However, the playoffs would show that dreams, and championships, are won in December, and not in the regular season.  

For The Ox, who was riding a 3 game win streak, the combination of Maurice Jones-Drew and Chris Johnson produced a force that could not be stopped. The Ox finished with a bang, winning the first ever SNFL Championship Game (or what today is called the Pink Wolf Clan Bowl). Yet, the true story was the game between the lowly TRONS against the high scoring Canadian Pwnage. In what would be called the greatest upset in league history, and maybe even sports history, The TRONS crushed Canadian Pwnage 121.48 to 99.72. The season would finish with the final game pitting The Ox against The TRONS, with The Ox winning 130.78-122.04. In the end, the final standing were The Ox (champion), The TRONS (runner-up), Snappin Trutles (third place winner), and Canadian Pwnage.

Today, the SNFL has grown into something truly special. Now boasting 10 teams, 2 conferences, and a new site (NFL.com), the SNFL is seen as the basis for which all fantasy football leagues are to be built by.

2009 Fun Facts:

Most points scored in a game: 145.12 (Wilson)

Closet game: 138.92-132.88 (Berthiaume over R. Oxendine)

Longest win streak: 5 (twice by Berthiaume)

- 5, including regular season and post-season (3 in regular, 2 in post-season; R. Oxendine)

Longest loss streak: 4 (T. Oxendine)

Most consecutive 100 point games: 4 (Berthiaume & Wilson)

            - 5, Regular season and post-season (3 regular, 2 post-season; R. Oxendine)

First 4 overall draft picks: Adrian Peterson (Berthiaume), Tom Brady (R. Oxendine), Matt Forte (T. Oxendine), and Drew Brees (Wilson)  

Overall records against:

- TRONS v. Canadian Pwnage: (1-4), (1-0) in post-season

- TRONS v. The Ox (Brother Bowl): (2-3), (0-1) in post-season

- TRONS v. Snappin Turtles: (1-3), (0-0) in post-season

- The Ox v. Canadian Pwnage: (2-2), (0-0) in post-season

- The Ox v. Snappin Turtles: (2-3), (1-0) in post-season

- Canadian Pwnage v. Snappin Turtles: (4-1), (0-1) in post-season  

-Taylor

Position MVP's Week 4

Quarterback: The Champ of 2009. Unable to get anything else going on offense, Kyle Orton has provided tremendous value to this team and will be a large part of any playoff runs Ryan hopes to make.

Running Back: Team Canuckistan. Despite outscoring him by about 10 points, I have to give the award to Jonathan this week. I only needed 1 rushing yard from Arian Foster to win my game and got 187 yards and 2 TDs whereas Team Canuckistan's running backs propelled them to a win over the Core Protection defense.

Wide Receiver: Core Protection. It's about time the Core Protection wide receivers got their dues. Perhaps the least talked about unit in the preseason, this group could be headed for very good things or very bad things in the coming weeks depending on how the Patriots adapt to the loss of Randy Moss. Sadly it wasn't enough to get a win this past week, maybe he should have picked up TO when I dropped him....

Tight End: Las Tortugas Negras. Yeah, Antonio Gates is currently 9th in fantasy points right now, ahead of Chris Johnson, AP, and Frak Gore so I expect to see Quinton's name up here a lot in the coming weeks.

Defense: themadoompaloompas. The Titans defense is the one thing Bhavik does have going for him this season, being that it is the highest scoring "player" on his entire team. Granted, Tony Romo had a bye week but surely this isn't a good thing.

Kicker: Mud Eaters. Finally the breakout game I was looking for from Nate Kaeding. I knew starting him would be a good idea and it's paid off. Everyone laughed when he was projected for 14 points and just look where it got me.

Bench: Red Tiger. The 9-sack-in-one-half-defense, the New York Giants was on John Lee's bench this week as well as Jonathan Stewart who sat instead of Tim Hightower who is losing carries to Beanie Wells, probably not a good decision. A worthy second place to Red Tiger would be The Champ of 2009 due to his "bench o' defenses" approach. Although he downsized to just three defenses from four a day before the game, it created quite the uproar on the SNFL homepage during the previous week.

-Kevin

What We've Learned: Week 4

1. Team Canuckistan: Even the famed Core Protection defense couldn't stop this team from getting 100 points. And if CP wasn't able to do it, who will?

2. Mud Eaters: It wouldn't be considered far-fetched to say that Arian Foster can carry this team for the entire season. I would even bet on it.

3. Red Tiger: Chris Johnson has shown he isn't immortal. This week, John's team has done the same. A good sign for the other SNFL members, but it would not be wise to underestimate them. We've all seen what that did after preseason rankings.

4. The DAWGS: TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL HAIL LORD BRADY!!!!!!1!!!!11!!111 PATSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS FAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAP

5. Carnegie PantyRaiders: The magic number here is two. Two wins, two losses, streak of W2, 2nd in Points For, 2nd in Points Against. This is arguably the fastest rising team in the SNFL right now. I would not want to play them next.

6. Core Protection: This defense is more overrated than Brett Favre. But on a positive note, they finally moved up out of last place in points this week.

7. The Champ of 2009: After this team's Defensive Monopoly System was crushed by bye weeks, they decided to downsize from four (4) defenses to three (3). Wasn't enough to earn a win though, as they were clearly outperformed by the PantyRaiders this week.

8. Las Tortugas Negras: This team would be completely unable to compete without Antonio Gates. But hey, a win is a win, and this week was their first. Congrats on finally losing your win-virginity, now you can join the rest of us and make fun of Bhavik's team.

9. The Elevolutionaries: Things seemed to have turned around after this team upset #1 ranked Team Canuckistan in Week 3. Now we can all see that may have just been a fluke. This team needs to develop more consistency if they intend on making playoffs.

10. themadoompaloompas: At what point do we stop wondering *when* they will win a game and start wondering *if* they will win a game? I had confidence in this team, but after an abysmal performance in Week 4, that's all out the window.

-Jon

Picks Review: Week 4

Fuck my life. Another week of 2-3... I am now at .500 and not looking good. Rest assured, a new, more correct picking strategy will be out for week 5. Anyway, let's get started.

Mud Eaters vs. Red Tiger

Man... It seems like whatever game I pick as game of the week ends up having the largest margin of victory. Of course no one is complaining this time because I didn't pick myself. Anyway, Red Tiger picked up its first loss, and the Mud Eaters rode Arian Foster to his first win over a SFC opponent. The SFC is now tied with the NFC at 2-2. This is unacceptable and better change in the coming weeks.

Pick: Incorrect

Margin of Incorrectness: 35.25

Core Protection vs. Team Canuckistan

The bullshit caught up with both of these two teams facing off. Core Protection posted his first 100+ game and MJD woke from his sleep to help score a fifth of his points, however it was not enough to take down Team Canuckistan. After losing Pierre Thomas it looked doubtful Core Protection could win and retardedly huge numbers from a WR doomed Core Protection for the second week in a row.

Pick: Incorrect

Margin of Incorrectness: 24.75

themadoompaloompas vs. The DAWGS

Man, at least there is one thing I can continue to count on, and that is that themadoompaloompas will lose. They were dealt their fourth consecutive loss, tying the SNFL record for longest losing streak, and almost breaking the record for lowest score of all time. Meanwhile The DAWGS put up a lackluster performance. I think it can finally be said that Core Protection's defense is just a myth, and that some teams just don't score well sometimes.

Pick: Correct

Margin of Incorrectness: 1 point

The Champ of 2009 vs. The Carnegie PantyRaiders

The PantyRaiders are finally beginning to win and now are third in the NFC. There is talk that they could actually be the best in the NFC, but we will wait until conference play goes into full swing before we actually listen to "talk." Without Adrian Peterson things did not look good for The Champ of 2009, and his absence is glaringly obvious in the unimpressive score of 82.65.

Pick: Correct

Margin of Incorrectness: 12.8 points

Las Tortugas Negras vs. The Elevolutionaries

Garrick is God... Or so I thought. I thought things were finally turning around for The Elevolutionaries, but a loss to the previously winless Tortugas shot that idea down. To be fair, Michael Vick's absence probably cost the Elevolutionaries the game, but a loss is a loss. The Elevolutionaries look to bounce back against the PantyRaiders this week.

Pick: Incorrect

Margin of Incorrectness: 18.6

Well... here it goes again:

Overall Record: 8-7 (.533)

Average Margin of Incorrectness: 16.26

-Fred

Throwback Week

This week is Throwback Week!!!!!!!!!!!!

In honor of the first SNFL season, the original 4 teams will change their names back to the old yahoosports fantasy names they used last year.

Also, be on the look out for a brief history of the founding and first regular season of the SNFL on the SNFL blog. 

Finally, the Throwback Week will culminate in the brother bowl between the DAWGS and The Champ of 2009 in honor of last years SNFL Championship game.


So welcome back:


The Ox


Snappin Turtles 


The TRONS


Canadian Pwnage 


-Taylor

10 Questions

1. Team Canuckistan: Is it fair to say that if this team scores 100 points, you lose?

2. Mud Eaters: Can we go ahead and say that Arian Foster was the fantasy pickup of the year?

3. Red Tiger: After their loss to the Mud Eaters, is it clear now that no one is overlooking this team?

4. The DAWGS: With their team being very inconsistent, should this team be very afraid that Tom Brady and Brandon Marshall have bye weeks this week?

5. Core Protection: After giving up 231.1 points in two weeks, can we PLEASE stop any references to having a defense?

6. Carnegie  PantyRaiders: Since this team is on a two game win streak, maybe we should all start thinking about changing our names?

7. The Champ of 2009: Is Adrian Peterson to this team as Arian Foster is to the Mud Eaters?

8. Las Tortugas Negras: By this point, does their win even mean anything now?

9. The Elevolutionaries: Is it fair to say that whatever hope people gave this team, were utterly destroyed last week?

10. themadoompaloompas: Should this team just start scouting next years top 10 players? 

-Taylor

Week 4 Recap

Ah, another fun week of SNFL! This is a lot more fun when you actually win, as most of you have probably realized... Except Bhavik of course. So here are the stats for Week 4!

3. Mud Eaters  def   1. Red Tiger (by 30.25 points - largest margin)
2. Core Destruction  def   6. Core Protection (by 14.75 points)
4. The DAWGS  def   10. themadoopaloompas (by 24.00 points)
7. Carnegie PantyRaiders  def   5. The Champ of 2009 (by 22.80 points)
9. Las Tortugas Negras  def   8. The Elevolutionaries (by 6.60 points - smallest margin)

It should be noted that Bhavik just barely escaped the lowest SNFL score of all time, beating Garrick's Week 1 performance by a mere 0.95 points. I guess the plus side is that he can't possibly do worse next week right? Sorry Bhavik.

SFC vs. NFC Record: 2-2
SFC Total Points: 1909.20
NFC Total Points: 1857.70

Long live the SNFL!
Long live the SFC!

-Jon

Analysis of Kevin Kolb

Kevin Kolb is a faggot.



Kevin Kolb is a faggot.



Kevin Kolb is a faggot.



Kevin Kolb is a faggot.



Kevin Kolb is a faggot.



Kevin Kolb is a faggot.



Kevin Kolb is a faggot.

Picks: Week 4

It's redemption time. After going an embarrassing 2-3 last week its time to pad my stats this week. Get ready to find out why they call me Fred "Fortune Teller" Varn.

Game of the Week: The Mud Eaters vs. Red Tiger

Oh man. Top of the Sick Conference vs. what many people say is the top of the Nasty Conference. This game will serve as a source of identity for both teams and conferences. The Sick Conference is currently 2-1 against Nasty Conference opponents, but a win by The Mud Eaters could put the Nasty Conference back on the map in terms of competition. Red Tiger hopes to continue his undefeated streak and improve to 4-0, meanwhile The Mud Eaters are just wanting to stay out of .500 after their surprise loss to the DAWGS.

Who wins it?: Red Tiger

Why?: Red Tiger put up 118 points against Core Protection's defense last week. I shudder to think what they'll do against the Mud Eaters.

How much?: 5 points (smallest margin of victory)

Game 2: Core Protection vs. Team Canuckistan

Core Protection and Team Canuckistan look to rebound after embarassing losses to Red Tiger and The Elevolutionaries (respectively). Both teams believe they have what it takes to be King of the SFC, but this week we will see who is better equipped. At first glance it may seem that Team Canuckistan is the easy pick here since he is #1 in points for, while Core Protection is #10, however you need to remember Core Protection's motto: Defense wins championships.

Who wins it?: Core Protection

Why?: Core Protection's defense will give Team Canuckistan's high scoring offense a run for their money this week. That and Team Canuckistan's matchups are terrible while Core Protection's are awesome.

How much?: Hell... I'm so confident I'll say 10 points on this one.

Game 3: themadoompaloompas vs. The DAWGS

The 0-3 madoompaloompas are looking to get their first win of the season. The DAWGS are looking to improve to 3-1 and show everyone they have a rightful claim to be top of the Nasty Conference. Each team's talent will be put to the test as the two teams aim to shoot down accusations of being lucky/unlucky.

Who wins it?: The DAWGS

Why?:The DAWGS simply have better players AND better matchups. Themadoompaloompas have been lucky to have even been hanging with the competition thus far, but I feel The DAWGS will really cut themadoompaloompas down to size.

How much?:15 points (largest margin of victory)

Game 4: The Champ of 2009 vs. The Carnegie PantyRaiders

The Carnegie PantyRaiders play the four defense monster this week. The Carnegie PantyRaiders got their first win this past week, and are now looking to get to .500. Meanwhile the Champ of 2009 looks to get up to 3-1 and also put his name in the ring for the battle of the Nasty Conference. The first round of bye weeks will be felt in this game though, and the Champ of 2009 gets the worst of it.

Who wins it?: The Carnegie PantyRaiders

Why?: Adrian Peterson is on bye. I am not sure if the Champ of 2009 can win without it. In fact, I'm fairly certain he can't.

How much?: 10 points

Game 5: Las Tortugas Negras vs. The Elevolutionaries

Garrick is God. That is what the rumor is on the streets at least. After his huge upset of Team Canuckistan people have been suggesting that maybe the first 2 weeks were bad luck and that this team could take the entire SNFL by storm. Las Tortugas Negras is 0-3, however their losses have been by heartbreaking margins. Las Tortugas Negras are much better than their record suggests but can they beat the awe-inspiring Elevolutionaries?

Who wins it?: The Elevolutionaries

Why?: The Elevolutionaries matchups are awesome. Not to mention they are probably the more talented team in this group.

How much?: 12 points

Let's see if I can stay out of .500 in my picks this week...