Picks of the Week

Hello there, my subjects. Your leader of the SNFL is here to give you the Week 8 edition of picks. After last week, I came out being 3-3 in the picks but could've been 4-2 but Scobee came in and put up enough points for Bhavik to prevent the upset of the week from happening. But that is the past and this is a new week of games, so let's get started.

Game of the Week: Carnegie PantyRaiders (4-3) vs. Mud Eaters (3-4)

Jaime is on a 3-game losing streak after being atop of the SNFL in the early weeks of the season and needs to turn things around. Kevin, with his 3-4 record, is hoping to come into this game and steal the win from Jaime to get the #3 spot in the NFC.

Carnegie PantyRaiders

Key Players: Joe Flacco, Lesean McCoy and Hakeem Nicks

Flacco hasn't been looking to hot in the past couple of weeks but look for him to play well this week against the Cards. The Ravens will still pound the ball on the ground since the Ravens are a run first team, but Flacco is going against a weak pass defense in Arizona. McCoy is going against the top rushing defense in the Cowboys but McCoy has been a beast for Jaime this season. The Cowboys may slow him down in the run game, but McCoy can do more than run the ball. He is also a threat in the pass game which is where he will get most of his points. He won't put up as many points like he has been in past weeks but he will still put up a decent amount of points. Nicks is Manning's favorite target and will be able to get past the horrible pass defense in the MIA, simple as that.

Setback: Reggie Bush

He really isn't that much of a setback but I really see him putting up good numbers. He hasn't been putting up that good of numbers this season and we basically expected this from him. Not only that but he has to share carries with Daniel Thomas, decreasing his value. Unless the G-Men's defense collapse, Bush won't be a big factor to Jaime.

Player to watch out for: Owen Daniels and Percy Harvin

Jacksonville doesn't do well in defending TE's for some reason. With Johnson out, Schaub is going to have to spread the ball out to his other receivers and will take advantage of the Jags Achilles heel and pass to Daniels. The only reason why he is on this list is because of his rib injury. He says that he can play as long as he can tolerate the pain. Even if he can handle the pain, I don't think he will have a great game but he will still be helpful to his team.

Mud Eaters

Key Players: Maurice Jones-Drew, Marques Colston and Jimmy Graham

MJD goes up against a team with a good pass defense as well as a rush defense. But out of the match-ups of Gabbert against the Texans defense and MJD against their rush defense, MJD is definitely going to have the better game since Gabbert is still trying to get into a rhythm with his team. As we saw last week in the Saints/Colts game, Brees spreads the ball out to everybody against a team with a weak pass defense. He will do the same exact thing with the Rams, so look for Colston to have another good game like last week. The same thing goes for Jimmy Graham but he's mainly going to be that red zone threat.

Setbacks: None

Players to watch out for: Matthew Stafford, Pierre Thomas and Mario Manningham

Stafford is going against a horrible defense in the Broncos. The only reason why he is on this list is mainly because of the fact of his ankle. He is suppose to start but he won't be as mobile as he normally is. Thomas had a pretty good game against a poor defense in the Colts and should do the same against the Rams this week. As for Manningham, he goes against a horrible pass defense in the MIA, so he could get some more targets from Manning.

Final Decision

I feel like Kevin just has much more going for him than Jaime. Kevin doesn't have any setbacks and if Stafford, Thomas, and Manningham can take advantage of their match-up, then Kevin should have a spectacular game this week. Kevin beats Jaime by 17.5 points this week

Upset Alert: Las Tortugas Negras (6-1) vs. The Lance Armstrongs (2-5)

Yeah, I may not be the leader of the SNFL after this week. Ian hasn't have much success this season with only two wins so far this season, but looking at his player's match-ups, he can have a pretty good game this week.

Las Tortugas Negras

Key Players: Desean Jackson, Wes Welker and Jermaine Gresham 

My WR's are really what I have going good for me this week. Welker has gotten me at least 10 points every week this week except for one and is a key player not only for me, but for Tom Brady, so Welker should be putting up some good numbers as usual. Jackson is a hit or miss every week but this week definitely will be a hit. The Eagles are going up against an OK pass defense in Dallas with their speedy WR's. Gresham is going against the Seahawks........that's it. That and Gresham is legit making a name for himself as a starting TE in the world of fantasy.

Setbacks: Rashard Mendenhall

Mendenhall has basically been a let down this whole season. He never get anything going when he has a very good match-up so I don't expect him to do anything against a team that is solid in defending the run. The only way for success for Mendenhall is in the passing game but Roethlisberger is going to use his receivers to try and destroy the Pats.

Players to watch out for: Maurice Morris and Bernard Scott

Both RB's are filling in for the starters of their team because of an injury and a suspension respectively. Both players are going up against teams that are decent in rush defense, Seahawks being a little bit better than the Broncos. I don't know if Scott can fill in the shoes of Benson well enough for me this week and Morris didn't have that great of a game last week after taking over for Best.

The Lance Armstrongs

Key Players: Drew Brees, Ahmad Bradshaw, Mike Wallace and Nate Washington

Drew Brees had a field day against the Colts and will do it again against a terrible pass defense in the Rams. Bradshaw is just going to do good against the Fins. They have a good rush defense but Ahmad is a better player. The Pats are last in the league in pass defense and Mendenhall can't seem to run the ball at all, so the Steelers are going to have to rely on Roethlisberger to win the game. Look out for Wallace to get a couple of touchdowns. Washington is going up against a poor pass defense from the Colts. If Hasselbeck can actually do good, then Washington should have an amazing game.

Setbacks: Mike Tolbert

He's only a setback mainly because of the fact that he may not play Sunday. And even if he does, it doesn't matter because the Chargers are still going to put more work on Mathews. The only good thing going for Tolbert is that the Chargers will stick him in on the goal line to be a touchdown vulture.

Players to watch out for: Anquan Boldin and Jared Cook

Arizona has a 28th ranked pass defense but Flacco isn't looking too hot. I still think the Ravens will rely heavily on Rice to win the game, so Boldin won't be able to fully take advantage of the weak Cards defense. Jared Cook is also going against a weak defense from the Colts. Like I said earlier about Washington, if Hasselbeck can play well, he should get some good numbers

Final Decision:

This pains me to say but I am seeing this upset by Ian. I have too many players on my team that can do good but not necessarily will where as Ian, whose only weak link is Tolbert, has players that will do good. At the end of the week, Ian will win by 23 points.

Team Canuckistan (3-4) vs. ElevensElevenElevolutionaries (0-7)

This is actually a key game for Jonathan. We have been saying the majority of the season that the SFC playoff picture is basically locked up with Fred, John, and me being the three who goes. But the loser of between Fred and John is going to have to look out for Jonathan if he were to win since he will actually have a chance to steal the #3 spot.

Team Canuckistan

Key Players: Frank Gore, Ryan Mathews, Calvin Johnson and Rob Gronkowski

Gore has too much power to be slowed down by the Browns rush defense, who ranks 20th in the league. Plus, believe it or not, the Browns have the top passing defense in the league, so the 49ers may have to rely on Gore throughout the game. Ryan Mathews is going to be getting more work since Tolbert is hurt and may not play. With a weak Chiefs defense, look out for Mathews to have a good game. Calvin Johnson is still a beast receiver and I don't really need to say much about him going against the Broncos. Gronk is one of Brady's favorite targets. He hasn't put up some big numbers lately but I feel like this week he will come in and turn things around.

Setbacks: None

Players to watch out for: Jackie Battle and Jabar Gaffney

Battle is looking to be the feature back for the Chiefs and going against the 21st ranked rush defense in San Diego, Battle is going to put up some good numbers. Gaffney has Tebow as his QB and Tebow isn't starting off to hot. Going up against a poor pass defense in Buffalo, Gaffney can have a good game if Tebow can relax in the pocket and not try to run the ball for yards much.

ElevensElevenElevolutionaries

Key Players: Ryan Torain and Steve Smith (Carolina)

Torain is going up against Buffalo whose defense overall is not good at all. As for Smith, he is going to continue to be that deep threat for Cam Newton.

Setbacks: None

Players to watch out for: Chris Johnson, Reggie Wayne and Robert Meachum 

"This is it." - Taylor Oxendine. That quote summarizes what I think about this game for Chris Johnson. This is the week where Johnson is finally going to have a breakout game. The Colts are not doing well at all defensively, especially in the rush defense. What's almost as bad as the Colts defense is their QB Painter. With a so-so defense and a horrible QB, Wayne is a hit or miss in terms of having a good game. Meachum wasn't able to join all of the fun Brees had last week against the Colts but this week, I think he will be able to since Brees likes to rotate with which receiver he wants to throw to.

Final Decision

I have no setbacks for either team but I feel like Jon's team has the better team and will outplay Garrick's team. Jon will win by 12 points.

Q (5-2) vs. Core Protection (5-2)

Without Rodgers and McFadden, John has already said that he has basically lost as Fred comes in with most of his team back from byes. Will John's lack of belief in his team cause him to lose this game?

Q

Key Players: Dwayne Bowe

I actually wanted to leave this blank but I figured that Bowe is a threat. The Chiefs will have to rely on the pass game eventually and Bowe is really the Chiefs WR corp.

Setbacks: Marshawn Lynch, Daniel Thomas and Braylon Edwards

Lynch may not even play this week and even if he does, the fact that he won't be 100% and he's going against a tough Cincy defense, he is basically useless. Thomas is out for this week so he is even more useless than Lynch. and Edwards is going up a top pass defense in the Browns. 

Player to watch out for: Andy Dalton

Dalton has come out and is doing pretty good for a rookie QB. Going up against a weak pass defense, he may have a good game.

Core Protection

Key Players: Eli Manning, Victor Cruz, Ray Rice, Darren Sproles and Vincent Jackson

Yeah, Fred has a lot going this week for him. Eli and Cruz versus the Miami pass defense is success for the two of them. Ray Rice against the Cards defense equals domination for him. Plus, Flacco isn't doing too hot at all so they will rely his running abilities. Darren Sproles against the Rams is going to be a repeat of last week against the Colts. And Jackson will be getting some good looks from Rivers against this weak Chiefs defense.

Setbacks: NONE!

Players to watch out for: Vernon Davis

I know I have said the Browns have the #1 pass defense in the league but with Edwards being a non-factor, Vernon Davis really is the best receiver that the 49ers have. If Smith has to throw the ball, he will look for Davis.

Final Decision

Fred is going to dominate John. He's going to take his theoretical dick and shove it up John's ass and as John begs for mercy, Fred is going to just give him some more. That basically is what's going to happen. I actually think Fred will break the record for largest margin of victory.

THE Dawgs (4-3) vs THE TACO KINGS (3-4)

Taylor is in a position where he needs to be careful as everyone is trying to focus on making it to the playoffs. Daniel, who hasn't been doing that great this season, actually may be a force with Arian Foster and Arian Foster, Jr. (Demarco Murray).

THE Dawgs

Key Players: Cam Newton, Fred Jackson and Antonio Brown

Cam Newton has been on fire this season except for that mud fest earlier in the season and will torch the Vikings defense, ranking 29th in the league. Fred Jackson has been dominant this season as well and will run over the Redskins whose defense in only good in defending the pass. As I said earlier, Roethlisberger is going to have a good game and Brown will be joining in on the fun.

Setbacks: None

Players to watch out for: Knowshon Moreno
With McGahee out, Moreno will be taking over the starting role once again and will look to try to keep it. He goes up against a Detroit defense and unless Tebow shows out, the Broncos will rely on Moreno to open up some opportunities to allow Tebow to make some big plays.

THE TACO KINGS


Key Players: Philip Rivers, Arian Foster and Demarco Murray
Rivers is going to have a good game against the Chiefs, who have struggles against the pass this season. The Jags was able to prevent Rice from having a good game but this isn't Rice they are going up against. This is Arian Foster. He will have a beast game like he always does. Murray had an explosive game last week and I feel like he will do the same thing against Philly.

Setbacks: Jonathan Stewart
Last week, I said he wouldn't have a good game and he actually did better than Williams but this week, he definitely won't do that good. Well at least not RB1 or RB2 good.

Players to watch out for: Antonio Gates
Gates is probably but his injury is not enough to slow him down against the Chiefs. As usual, he is going to be Rivers top receiver along with Jackson and will be a threat in the red zone.

Final Decision
Taylor will be the victor in this game since he has more clutch players on his team than Daniel. Taylor wins it by 12 points.

themadoompaloompas (5-2) vs. The Ox (2-5)

This is an interesting match-up for the two teams since they are both missing a player.

themadoompaloompas

Key Players: Tom Brady and Adrian Peterson

This game is going to be a shoot out between the Steelers and the Pats. The Steel Curtain does have a top pas defense, making things tough for the Pats but being a clutch player, Brady will still put up some good numbers for Bhavik. As for AP, he's going up against a very weak Panthers defense and should be able to run all over them.

Setbacks: no RB2

Umm there's not much to say about this. Having no RB2 means less points for you, simple as that.

Players to watch out for: Larry Fitzgerald and Devery Henderson

The Fitz is going against the Ravens defense who has been very dominant in both rushing and passing. With no other true weapons in the Cards pass game, Fitz will be getting a lot of targets but will most likely be shut down. And starting Henderson is risky but with the Saints going against the Rams, he could be getting some big points for Bhavik.

The Ox

Key Players: Pierre Garcon

Like I said last week, Pierre Garcon is one of the only players he has going good for him this week. Even though the QB isn't good at all, Garcon is still able to put up some good numbers and will continue to do so this week.

Setbacks: Peyton Hillis and Sebastian Janikowski

Well Hillis isn't playing this week so that's no help and Janikowski is on a bye and that doesn't help neither.

Players to watch our for: Benjarvis Green-Ellis and Brandon Lloyd

Green-Ellis has to go up against a tough Steelers defense. Not only that but he will be playing with an injury. As for Lloyd, he has the potential to be an amazing player but with a QB like Bradford, that is going to be tough for him to do.

Final Decision

Once again, Ryan has literally nothing going good for him except for Garcon. So I have to go with Bhavik to win this by 24 points.

12 Questions: Week 8

LasTortugas AmarillasHwangsaeg: This is the only team run by two owners…and they’re in first place… interesting… maybe the SNFL needs to do an investigation to see if the players are receiving any “improper benefits”?

themadoompaloompas: Why are all the minorities on top this year?

Q: Seriously, what the fuck?

Core Protection: Did The DAWGS lose last week due to a deal that would guarantee Florida beating Georgia this Saturday?

The DAWGS: Seriously, who’s a better looking owner than theirs?

Carnegie PantyRaiders: Since they’re on a 3 game losing streak, maybe they should go back to their original name?

Team Canuckistan: What’s worse to deal with: when they win or when they lose?

Mud Eaters: Did this owner shed a tear on Sunday after Arian Foster’s performance?

*EL GRANDE THE TACO KING: If I said "ladies and gentlemen, may i present the next Arian Foster" referring to DeMarco Murray, would you take me seriously?

*The Lance Armstrongs: If this owner went back to not trying, would his record improve?

The Ox: How beast is Matt Forte when this team scores 48.70 points, and Forte scores 24.30 of those points?

*Eleven'sElevenElevolutionaries: What shitty name will they think of this week?

*Quinton’s questions

Records

The Ox (Oxendine) broke Eleven'sElevenElevolutionaries (Robertson) record for lowest point total in a regular season game.

- Old record: 53.70

- New record: 48.70

Eleven'sElevenElevolutionaries (Robertson) broke Core Protections (Varn) record for most consecutive regular season losses.

- Old record: 6

- New record: 7

Record Watch: LasTortugas AmarillasHwangsaeg (Wilson) has won 5 straight regular season games. The record for most consecutive regular season wins (7) is held by Mud Eaters (O'Leary).

Week 7 Recap

As we have another week of inter-league play, we all saw many upsets and surprises. We even had a couple of records broken, but I'm sure that those guys aren't too proud of them. Let's get started with this recap.

Game of the Week: The DAWGS vs. Core Protection

Looking at the stars on these teams, both teams should've at least gotten to 100 points, but it didn't happen and doesn't matter. Fred managed to pull off the win even after his top player, Ray Rice, had a bad game against the Jags D. Too bad Taylor's WR's, excluding Jennings, didn't put up the numbers that they should've put up; otherwise, this would've been a much closer game.

The DAWGS goes down to 4-3 and Core Protection improves to 5-2

Upset Alert: Eleven'sElevenElevolutionaries vs. themadoompaloompas

Garlic actually did good this Sunday and could've had the win but it all came down to Bhavik's kicker. I remember someone earlier in the week (Jaime) told me that having the kicker in doesn't really make a difference. Or at least that's what I got from what he said. Anyways, the kicker mattered in this game since it was the difference between a huge upset and another loss for Garlic.

Eleven'sElevenElevolutionaries goes down to 0-7 and themadoompaloompas improve to 5-2

LasTortugas NegrasHwangsaeg vs. The Ox

Once again, I have another easy team to play this past week and was once again, completely lucky. With 2 inactive players and relying on just on Matt Forte, Ryan basically handed me an easy win.

LasTortugas NegrasHwangsaeg improves to 6-1 and The Ox goes down to 2-5

Team Canuckistan vs. Mud Eaters
This was another game where if the kicker (Kevin's kicker) were to make that 50 yard field goal, this would've been a win for him. Injured Best and starters benched because of a bye (Gronk and Gore) didn't hurt Jon as much as everyone thought it would, just barely getting that W.

Team Canuckistan improves to 3-4 and Kevin goes down to 3-4 as well

Q vs. Carnegie Panty Raiders
This was one of those weeks for Jaime. With only his defense being the only player to have double digits, Jaime lost by a huge margin and could've been bigger if Lynch and DMC for Q weren't injured.

Q improves to 5-2 and Carnegie Panty Raiders goes down to 4-3

THE TACO KINGS vs. The Lance Armstrongs
Ok, we would expect Foster to put up 42 points, but not Murray putting up 32, being that difference maker for Mex to get that W.

THE TACO KINGS improve to 3-4 and The Lance Armstrongs goes down to 2-5

Now this man right here was 3-3 in the picks this week. Not bad for a rookie. And because of Battelfield 3 being out right now, I was kind of slack in writing this, so it will be better next week. I'll be back on the blog this Saturday for Week 8's set of picks.

Picks of the Week

Sorry I put this up a lot later than I told you I would but at least I'm making an effort to do this since Fred is too lazy to do this, that slacker. Before I begin, I just want to tell you that I don't try to favor or go against anyone. So let's get started with this week's set of picks. I will also put stats and facts in here starting next week, but since I sort of waited to the last minute, I won't be doing it this week because I know how anxiously you guys have been waiting for this week's picks from yours truly.

Game of the Week: The DAWGS vs. Core Protection

Look at this match up: you got Taylor (4-2), who probably has the most well rounded team in the league, going against a beastly team of Fred (4-2). This game could possibly be a preview of the PWC Bowl this year.

The DAWGS

Key Players: All WR's

Jennings against MIN, Austin against STL, and Little against SEA.........do I really need to say much? You have Rodgers who is most likely going to have a field day on the Vikings defense; we all know the ball is going to Jennings deep down the field a couple of times. I also see the same thing happening with Romo and Austin against a weak Rams team. And let's not forget about the Little guy (see what I did there). He is starting to make a name for himself by putting up some big numbers and look for him to continue you this against a poor Seattle defense.

Setbacks: Steven Jackson

One player whose match up I don't like too much is Jackson. Even though they have to rely on the run game since Bradford isn't playing well, Jackson won't get much yards against the Dallas defense, who ranks 1st in the league in rush defense.

Core Protection

Key Players: Ray Rice and Darren Sproles

Monday Night Football will be all about Rice. Jacksonville has a good rush defense but it's not good enough to contain Rice. After 5 weeks of play, Rice has put up an average of about 19 points. He will continue to live up to his first round status and get at least 20 points. 

Sproles, he can run, he can catch, he can make something out of nothing. Though he is more of a flex player, he has a very good match up this week against a poor Indy defense. Look out for Sproles to get a good bit of yards from running the ball and off of screen plays.

Setbacks: Shonn Greene and Vincent Jackson

Fred was already screwed this week because of byes and now Sexy Rex decides to start LT over Greene? I know he had his troll face on for that one. I don't see Greene to put up very good numbers because of this decision by Rex. Jackson is probable at the moment but he is most likely going to play. That's good but he still has to pay a visit to Revis Island this week as he plays against the Jets. Jackson won't live up to the WR1 status and will put up little points for Fred.

Players to watch out for: Both TEs

Yeah, I'm saying look out for the TEs. Both teams are equal but how the TEs play could determine who wins this. Now you guys think I'm crazy but hear me out. Taylor has Benjamin Watson going against Seattle. That is a very good match up for him but Watson is known to drop easy catches. And there is Fred's newly acquired TE, Fred Davis. He's the new starting TE so obviously his value goes up. And who does he play? Carolina. So he should put up good numbers right? Not so much. Though he is projected to have a good game, Carolina, believe it or not, actually has a good pass defense, ranking 11th in the league.

Final decision: This is actually a tough decision but in the end, I have to go with The DAWGS. His team just has to good of a match up this week. I see him barely winning this week by 4.7 points.

Upset Alert: Eleven'sElevenElevolutionaries vs. themadoompaloompas

Wait, hold up, whoa there. Garlic beating Bhavik? Can't happen.....except for this week. Garlic's players has good match ups this week and Bhavik's does too, sort of.

Eleven'sElevenElevolutionaries
Key Players: Ryan Torain, Chris Johnson, Steve Smith (CAR)
Torain is going up against one of the worst rush defenses in the league in Carolina. He's definitely going to have a field day over the Panthers. Chris Johnson hasn't done too well this season so far, but I'm feeling a huge game out of him this week against the Texans. Smith is that deep threat that Newton loves to throw to and is pretty much his favorite target.

Setback: None


Players to watch out for: Roddy White
You need to keep an eye out for White. He hasn't been playing very well at all for a starting WR and the way Ryan is playing doesn't help either. I see the Lions/Falcons game being a battle between the QBs, so things can turn around for White. Plus, Jones is hurt so White's value goes up some.


themadoompaloompas
Key Players: Tony Gonzalez
Yeah, the tight end. Bhavik really doesn't have much going for him this week looking at his team's match ups. Anyways, Gonzalez is always a reliable target for Ryan. The veteran TE is a huge threat in the red zone as he is Ryan's favorite target down there.

Setbacks: Felix Jones/RB2 slot and Larry Fitzgerald
Well obviously we know why Jones is a setback: he's out for this week's game. Now, Larry (not Zach's girlfriend) is basically the Cards offense along with Wells. But that may not be true this week. Shitsburgh has the top pass defense in the league and can shut the Fitz down this week

Players to watch out for: Adrian Peterson and Tim Tebow
Why is AP on this? Because he is running up against a top 5 rush defense in the Packers, that's why. With that being said, AP can still put up some good points since the Vikings doesn't have a good passing game and is starting a rookie at QB this week. Speaking of new starting QBs, it's Tebow Time. Tebow is going against one of the worst pass defenses in Miami, but in previous performances, he hasn't played too well, being very inaccurate majority of the time.

Final Decision
Well I said it at the beginning but I have Garlic winning his first game of the season just because Bhavik's team isn't looking too hot this week. Garlic wins it by 23.5 points

LasTortugas NegrasHwangsaeg vs. The Ox

Your SNFL leader versus the guy who cried for help for his franchise after starting off 2-4. The Black Turtles have been able to start off with a 5-1 start to the season with his mess of a team and looks to keep the top spot in the SNFL for at least another week after being screwed over this week because of byes.

LasTortugas NegrasHwangsaeg
Key Players: Rashad Mendenhall and Darrius Heyward-Bey
Mendenhall has been a ghost this whole season but ironically, it takes a hamstring injury to cause him to have a huge game last week. Look for him to put up the same numbers this week against the Cards defense. DHB this week goes their against division rival, the Chiefs. With Carson Palmer behind the center, this looks to be a good matchup for DHB.

Setback: Matt Ryan
So much for being amazing like I expected him to be. Ryan hasn't been able to put up good numbers this year and now he has to face the Lions, who is 6th in the league in pass defense. This does not bode well for Ryan. The one thing that will get to him is that Lions Silver Lining. They will get to Ryan and throw him off his game, not that he really ever was on it.

Players to watch for: Maurice Morris and Montario Hardesty
With Best hurt, will Morris be able to replace Best and put up the same numbers as he did? Morris will have to go up against a tough Atlanta rush defense as well as their poor pass defense. Hardesty is in the same position as Morris. He too is going up against a tough Seattle rush defense.

The Ox
Key Players: Pierre Garcon and Matt Forte
Garcon and Forte are really the only good thing going for The Ox. Forte is the Bears team, as well as Ryan's. Forte carries the Bears offense and will continue to do so until he gets injured. Garcon is like one of the last weapons left in Indy, that I know of. I haven't really been keeping up with them so I don't know. If that is true, then Garcon will be putting up some good numbers.

Setbacks: Peyton Hillis and Sebastian Janikowski
Hillis is hurt and most likely not going to be starting and even if he does, he's not going to be getting touches like he has been throughout the season. The Raiders just signed a new kicker, meaning that Janikowski also most likely will not be playing this week.

Players to watch out for: Brandon Lloyd
Sam Bradford has had a pretty bad season so far and so has Lloyd. But with the both of them together, this may be something good. Lloyd already knows McDaniels' system and Bradford now has a legit WR to throw to. And then playing against a Dallas pass defense makes things better as well. Bradford has the tool, now let's just see if he will be able to use it, giggety.

Final Decision
Like I said before, the only good things going for The Ox are Forte and Garcon. Even though LasTortugas NegrasHwangsaeg's team doesn't live up to the status of leader of the SNFL, he will get lucky and find a way to pull out another win and stay the leader among the pack. LasTortugas NegrasHwangsaeg wins it over The Ox by 12.3 points

Team Canuckistan vs. Mud Eaters

Uh-oh! PWC Bowl II rematch! Will Kevin get his revenge or will Jonathan just show him how Canadians do it, eh?

Team Canuckistan
Key Players: Tony Romo, Jackie Battle, Calvin Johnson, and Saints Defense
Romo is like Garcia: he either has a good game or a bad one. There's never an in-between. But this week, Romo is going to having a good week against the Rams, putting up some big numbers. Battle is now the feature back in the Kansas City backfield and unlike Jones and McCluster, he actually is good. As he goes up against a so-so Oakland defense and having a weak QB in Cassell, look for the Chiefs to use Battle. Do I really need to say much about Calvin Johnson? I mean he goes by Megatron. Why? I don't know. Doesn't matter who he goes up against, he will catch the ball if it's thrown his way. And going against a weak Atlanta defense just makes thing so much better for him. With all the problems at the QB position and a new RB coming in, this looks to be a good match up for the Saints defense. Plus, it's hard to play in the Big Easy.

Setbacks: James Starks
Going up against a tough rush defense in Minnesota, I really don't see much success for Starks. He is a good RB but I don't think he has what it take to get past this defense.

Players to watch for: Percy Harvin
With Ponder making his first career start, Harvin's value does go down some. But there is some upside to this: believe it or not, the Packers are 31st in the league in pass defense. So if Ponder gets his protection and doesn't let the pressure and jitters get to him, Harvin could have a good game.

Mud Eaters
Key Players: Matthew Stafford
Stafford has been hot all season long and will continue to do so against the Falcons. Look for Stafford to torch the Falcons' pass defense.

Setbacks: Deangelo Williams
Williams hasn't have a good season at all this year except for one game. And the fact that Cam Newton is having a lot of success in the passing game is causing the Panthers to do more passing plays rather than use the Williams/Stewart combo.

Players to watch for: Maurice Jones-Drew, Marques Colston, and Brandon Marshall
MJD is good but I don't know if he can be very successful against a top 3 rush defense in the Ravens. But at the same time, the Jags really doesn't have a pass game so they will pretty much have to use MJD and hope he can make some big plays. Now Colston and Marshall are good receivers but I have a problem with the both of them. Colston is a Saint WR and every week, a different receiver has a good game. And with Marshall, he drops catches. They both have good match ups, Brees just needs to be feeling Colston this week and Marshall just needs to catch the ball.

Final Decision
Looking at the match ups for each team, they are pretty much equal, but there is one thing that prevents Kevin from winning: Williams. Honestly, this is a tough match up to choose from but because of the Williams' disappointing performance so far in the season and Cam's surprising play, Jonathan will win this rematch by 10.5 points.

Q vs Carnegie Panty Raiders

Man, this too is a good match up. Both sides are pretty much equal, with just about that same amount of strong and weak players for this week. Let's look deeper into this and see who will end up on top.

Q
Key Players: Aaron Rodgers, Darren McFadden, and Dwayne Bowe
Rodgers is making a name for himself as an elite QB in the NFL. He is going to continue to do so and just dominate over the Vikings, putting up some huge numbers for John Ree. Being the reason why his team is ranked 2nd in the league in rush offense, DMC will have no problem to continue to carry John Ree's team as they have been the past few weeks. Now I did say that Battle will be the one who will get the ball since the Cassell isn't doing too hot, but there will be a time for the Chiefs to throw the ball and with a star WR in Bowe and no Asomugha to stop him, Bowe should put up some good numbers against the Raiders poor pass defense.

Setbacks: Santonio Holmes
Sanchez's games are also a hit or miss, mainly misses and with a match up against the Chargers, I don't see him doing well. This hurts Holmes, decreasing his value some. And too make things worse, the Chargers are ranked 2nd in the league in pass defense.

Players to watch out for: Daniel Thomas and Marshawn Lynch
Thomas and Lynch both have had a couple of good games but for the most part aren't anything better than a flex player. But both Thomas and Lynch have a pretty good match up this weak against a weak Denver rush defense and a weak Cleveland rush defense respectively. Hopefully for Q, they will be able to pull out a 3rd good game for the season

Carnegie Panty Raiders
Key Players: Ryan Mathews and Eric Decker
Jets are known for their amazing defense, especially their rush defense....not this year. Only 28th in the season in rush defense, things look well for Mathews. With Lloyd gone and going up against a poor pass defense in Miami, Deckers value goes up. Since there is no kind of shutdown corner in Miami to stop him, look for him to put up some big numbers this week.

Setbacks: Mike Thomas
Gabbert isn't looking too hot for the moment, mainly because of a bad O-line, and I definitely don't expect him to do well against a top defense in the Ravens. Ravens will not back down and go hard at him, so Thomas won't be able to put up good numbers because of this.

Players to watch out for: Lance Moore
Like I said before, different Saints WRs have success every week. It has been 4 weeks since his big game; so will this week be his next big one?

Final Decision
I would pick Jaime over just about anyone in the league but not against John Ree. Rodgers and DMC will both have good games and carry his team to another victory, beating Jaime by 9.75 points.

THE TACO KINGS vs. The Lance Armstrongs

As Taylor said, this is the Expansion Bowl. Both team have a 2-4 record and have been made fun of basically the whole season.

THE TACO KINGS
Key Players: Arian Foster and Dez Bryant
Arian Foster always puts up good numbers and unless his hammy gets hurt again then he should continue to have success against the Titans. I already said that Romo is going to have a good game, so he will be sharing some of the glory with Bryant.

Setbacks: Jonathan Stewart and Kicker
Well at the moment, Mex has no kicker and those extra points can be the difference between a win and a lost, so yes Jaime it does matter whether or not you start you kicker. If Williams isn't having any success on the ground, his back up isn't going to have success neither; otherwise, he'd be starting.

Players to watch out for: Antonio Gates and Demarco Murray
Gates has been having that foot injury but if the pain isn't too bad, he will play through the pain. This will be his first start in a while so we will see if that has affected his game at all. Plus, it really doesn't help that he's going against a tough Jets defense. Murray has taken over the starting spot for the Cowboys and should have a good game against the Rams after seeing how well he has played when he ran the ball in previous games.

The Lance Armstrongs
Key Players: Drew Brees, Michael Turner, Mike Wallace
Brees is playing pretty good so far and going against a weak Indy pass defense should allow him to put up some good points for Ian. With poor play from Ryan, Turner has been able to help out by getting yards on the ground for Atlanta and going against this 20th ranked Lions defense should allow him to carry his team as well as Ian's. Another QB going against a weak pass defense is Roeshitsberger, so look out for Wallace to put up some good numbers this week.

Setbacks: Mike Tolbert
Tolbert is that power back used for the goal line mainly, even though he is a pretty good back for any other situation but I see Mathews being the one who gets the majority of the carries. Even if they plug in Tolbert when they are 5 yards from the end zone, the Jets will stop him. And if Gates does play, he may take away chances for Tolbert to punch it in.

Players to watch out for: Danario Alexander
With Lloyd added to this receiving corp, this will either cause defenses to focus on Lloyd, opening up opportunities for Alexander or Bradford will want to try to use his new weapon and take away targets for Alexander. We will see what happens this Sunday.

Final Decision
Minus Tolbert, Ian's team is solid this week and will pull of the win over Mex, by 15 points.

There you go, good luck to you all and may the Fabs be with you all, except Ryan.

-Quinton

Midseason Report Card: SFC

To all the haters who have complained of me not making picks and not contributing to the blog, I say: Fuck you, I'm busy, you aren't contributing either, and this is going to be the most interesting article you will read this season (until the Final Report Card). I will take a brief look at each team and then assign them a letter grade based on how they have been, and how much hope they have. Let's start with the SFC.

Las Tortugas NegrasHwangsaeg: Well, well, well. This IS surprising. Who would have thought that halfway through the season this team would be 5-1, leading both the SFC and the entire SNFL. Coming into the season ranked 11 in the preseason poll, after one of the most questionable drafts in SNFL history, no one thought this team would be good. But they are.

What does the future hold? At 5-1 this team needs to win 3 more to guarantee a playoff appearance. Sounds easy but is it? Wins don't come easy in the SNFL and the SFC has no guaranteed wins (not even garlic). This team faded down the stretch last year, and their current roster doesn't have the makings of an elite SNFL team. But this team has surprised so far, whose to say it won't surprise later.

Prediction: 3rd Place SFC (Playoffs)

Grade: A

Q: Yet another surprise. The fighting Q's came into this season ranked dead last in the preseason poll, with much of the blame being that they didn't think Darren McFadden would last more than 3 games into the season. He has and this team has benefitted greatly at 4-2, second in the SFC. This team is made up of a few elite stars (DMC, Aaron Rodgers), and a supporting cast. The supporting cast makes its modest contribution and the stars seal the deal.

What does the future hold? At 4-2 this team needs to win 4 games to guarantee playoffs. As long as they maintain their current course they should be able to make it, and there is no reason to believe they can't as long as Darren McFadden can stay healthy. This team has been a nice Cinderella story this year, let's see them in the playoffs.

Prediction: 2nd Place SFC (Playoffs)

Grade: A+

Core Protection: To start the season many doubted this team's decision to go with Eli Manning at QB. Six games into the season and one 68 yard TD pass to Victor Cruz later, is anyone still questioning it? I like this team a lot. It is filled with interchangable parts. There is not a lot of star power on this team, but on any given day one player can go off and make up for a bad day of another player. While the loss of Kenny Britt hurt this team a lot, Core Protection has bounced back and found ways to win. Their next goal: beat an expansion team.

What does the future hold? This team is 4-2 and looking good. They need 4 more wins to guarantee a playoff appearance. They have a good but not great QB, a good but no great RB unit (including flex), a good but not great WR unit, a good but not great TE, and a good but not great K/Def. What does this translate to? A team that won't wow you but will hang with anyone. Expect a lot of big wins with a few surprising losses coupled in there as well.

Prediction: 1st Place SFC (duh) (Playoffs), sex with your mom tonight (she didn't tell you?)

Grade: A

Team Canuckistan: The defending champs have had a rough start to the season so far this year. The fighting Canadians (haha, I made a joke) have been decimated by injuries and Eli Manning so far this season. This team's line up is completely unpredictable, with any player being able to go off at any time, but also any player being able to hang a donut. This team has been a huge headache to its owner, but it is in good hands. After all he DID win the SNFL Championship last season.

What does the future hold? Ok, seriously? This team is looking up at the top 3 teams in the SFC. Frank Gore's reemergence has been nice, and Calvin Johnson has been putting up SNFL MVP numbers but after losing Jahvid Best for the season (or most of it), along with the complete randomness this team plays with it has a lot of work to do. The teams must win 6/7 games to guarantee a playoff appearance, but 5 games could be adequate. That's tough.

Prediction: It will come down to the final game. Tony Romo has the ball for the final drive. Jonathan up by .2 over Quinton in points for, tied record. The Cowboys kneel the ball on first down, kneel again on second down, take the delay of game penalty at one second, then kneel the ball on third down. Jonathan proceeds to kill himself.

4th place SFC (No Playoffs)

Grade: B-

The Lance Armstrongs: What can be said about this team? Not much. They have no history, had an OK draft, and aren't very active. They're just kind of there. Their 2-4 record isn't great but it's not awful either. They've put up some big numbers, but also some stinkers. This team is having a decent first year in the SNFL, but is discovering that being in the SNFL isn't as easy as it looks.

What does the future hold? This team is probably out of the playoffs but will probably troll Core Protection since he can't beat expansion teams, and Jonathan just for the hell of it. This team will also be Garlic's second win. All in all this team will have an ok record but playoffs is a long shot (6/7 to guarantee, 5/7 to have a chance). Honestly the owner won't read this so that's all I have to say.

Prediction: 5th place SFC

Grade: B

Eleven's Eleven Elevolutionaries: Yikes... This team came out of the preseason as the #2 team and is 0-6. Not only are they 0-6, they haven't looked good doing it either. They are last in the SFC in points for by a mile. Why did this happen? Well... their first round pick, second round pick, and third round pick have been busts and none of their late round picks panned out. That is pain. Everyone feel for Garrick. :(

What does the future hold: Hopefully a win or two. To even have a chance at playoffs Eleven MUST win this week... and every week afterwards. They must finish the season 7-0 and even that might not be enough. If they lose this week they are mathematically out of the playoffs. However not all hope is lost. The last team to go on a L6 streak was Core Protection 2010, and they not only made the playoffs, but would have won the SNFL Championship if not for the Jacksongate scandal. But seriously. Better luck next year.

Prediction: First win over Bhavik this weekend (SFC SFC SFC) 6th place SFC

Grade: D

So that's it. The current top 3 SFC teams look to stay that way for now. But crazy things happen in the back half of the season, especially in the SFC.

-Fred

Rivalry Week

Team Canuckistan v. The Mud Eaters

AKA: PWC Bowl II Rematch

- At this point last year, these two teams were a combined 10-2 and at the top of their respective conferences. This year, they are 5-7 and currently wouldn’t make the playoffs.

- Series Record

o Regular Season: (1-0) Mud Eaters

o Postseason: (1-0) Team Canuckistan

Q v. Carnegie PantyRaiders

AKA: Mortal Enemies Bowl

- These team are both having surprise seasons, both fighting for 1^st place in their conferences. When they played last year, they had a combined record of 11-13.

- Series Record

o Regular Season: (1-0) Carnegie PantyRaiders

The DAWGS v. Core Protection

AKA: PWC Bowl II ½

- Both teams have been fighting for their conference’s title since the season started, and both teams find themselves at 4-2. These are one of the few out-of-conference rivals that have met twice in the regular season before this season.

- Series Record

o Regular Season: (1-1)

Eleven'sElevenElevolutionaries v. themadoompaloompas

AKA: The Unimaginably Shitty Bowl

- Last year, both teams were, at some point, the worst team in their conference and a combined 5-11 when they met. Today, themadoompaloompas have shocked the league and are at first place in the NFC, while Eleven'sElevenElevolutionaries have tied the record for most consecutive losses.

- Series Record

o Regular Season: (1-0) themadoompaloompas

LasTortugas AmarillasHwangsaeg v. The Ox

AKA: The Black & White Bowl

- Again, this is one of those bowls with two teams going in different directions. The Ox is struggling at 2-4, while LasTortugas is in first place in the SFC and SNFL.

- Series Record

o Regular Season: (1-1)

THE TACO KINGS v. The Lance Armstrongs

AKA: The Expansion Bowl

- Last year, these teams didn’t exist. Both these teams have found out that winning in the SNFL is not as easy as it seems. It requires dedication and focus. Luckily for them, with a win one of these teams will be right back in the hunt for a playoff spot.

- Series Record

o This is the first meeting.

Power Rankings: Week 5

Special Edition: Meme Corner 

Better late than never right? The pictures don't necessarily have to do with the team they're next to, I had like 5 specifically for Kevin (you can probably guess which ones) but I felt like everyone should get one.

	TEAM	RANK	REC	COMMENTS
	Carnegie PantyRaiders	1 (1)	4-0
	Q	2 (6)	3-1
	Core Protection	3 (2)	3-1
	Las Tortugas Negras	4 (5)	3-1
	themadoompaloompas	5 (3)	3-1
	The DAWGS	6 (4)	2-2
	Team Canuckistan	7 (7)	1-3
	The Ox	8 (11)	2-2
	The Lance Armstrongs	9 (8)	1-3
	Mud Eaters	10 (9)	1-3
	THE TACO KINGS	11 (12)	1-3
	Eleven's Elevolutionaries	12 (10)	0-4

-Uncle Jon

12 Questions: Week 5

12 Questions makes its glorious return!!!

Carnegie PantyRaiders: Why is it that only the NFC gets the super dominate no-one-can-beat team?

themadoompaloompas: Should this team be a testament to how easy it is to rebound after a complete retard drafts your team the year before?

Q: Is it the 1950's, or did I just not realize that it's okay to be blatantly racist?

Core Protection: Are we in for a lot of trolling and naming calling these next 5 days?

Las Tortugas Negras: Darrelle Revis is probably going to be on Welker this Sunday... should we just count this week as a loss?

The DAWGS: Is it just me, or is this team totally awesome?

The Ox: If this team wins their game this week, should they be on the look out for a nuggie/wedgie next week?

Team Canuckistan: The Canadiens and Maple Leafs are playing tonight... does anyone else care?

The Lance Armstrongs: Is it me, or is this owners silence... deafening... or am I running out of ideas?

The Mud Eaters: (In the spirit of trolling... I'm not gonna write anything.)

THE TACO KINGS: Are we all ready to deal with two Tacos?

Eleven'sElevenElevolutionaries: You know what's sad........................?

Seriously, if you have any witty ideas for 12 Q's, help a brotha out.

-Taylor

Quick Glance: Week 5

· Las Tortugas Negras vs. The Lance Armstrongs

o This is the first meeting between these two teams.

· Core Protection vs. Team Canuckistan

o The series is tied between these two teams. Last year, they finished as the top two teams in the SFC.

· THE TACO KINGS vs. Mud Eaters

o This is the first meeting between these two teams.

· Q vs. Eleven'sElevenElevolutionaries

o This series is tied between these two teams. Last year, Eleven came back from a 3-5 record to claim a SNFL playoff spot from Q who had a 5-3 record.

· The DAWGS vs. The Ox

o This Original Four matchup known as the Brother Bowl is led by The Ox 5-2 in the regular season, and 1-0 in the postseason. This is also a rematch of the 2009 SNFL Championship, where The Ox won the first ever SNFL title.

· Carnegie PantyRaiders vs. themadoompaloompas

o The Carnegie PantyRaiders lead this series 2-0 in the regular season. This is a matchup between the top two teams in the NFC and the SNFL.

Power Rankings: Week 4

Once again, I don't have time to comment on these, I hope you can all forgive me. At least I actually put these out every week, unlike those cuntholes Fred and Taylor. WHEY MY PICKS AT? WHEY MY 12Q AT?

	TEAM	RANK	REC	WHAT WE'VE LEARNED
	Carnegie PantyRaiders	1 (3)	3-0
	Core Protection	2 (1)	3-0
	themadoompaloompas	3 (2)	3-0
	The DAWGS	4 (5)	2-1
	Las Tortugas Negras	5 (8)	2-1
	Q	6 (6)	2-1
	Team Canuckistan	7 (4)	1-2
	The Lance Armstrongs	8 (7)	1-2
	Mud Eaters	9 (10)	0-3
	Eleven's Elevolutionaries	10 (9)	0-3
	The Ox	11 (11)	1-2
	THE TACO KINGS	12 (12)	0-3

-Jon

P.S.: SFC to go 5-0 this week