Friday, September 23, 2011

Power Rankings: Week 3

As voted on by four SNFL owners. If you want more accurate ranks in the future, send them to me every week by Thursday night. Also, since most of you guys can't even bother to send me ranks, I don't feel like commenting on these, so use your imagination (no but really I've been busy this week, don't hate)

Fred's Gay

Those of you with keen eyes may have noticed that the above is indeed a red panda. But now onto the meat of this post...

 TEAM   RANK      REC     WHAT WE'VE LEARNED BLANK SPACE OH YEAH
SNFL Core Protection    1 (2)   2-0
SNFL themadoompaloompas    2 (6)   2-0
SNFL Carnegie PantyRaiders    3 (1)   2-0
SNFL Team Canuckistan    4 (3)   1-1
SNFL The DAWGS    5 (10)   1-1
SNFL Q    6 (9)   1-1
SNFL The Lance Armstrongs    7 (11)   1-1
SNFL Las Tortugas Negras    8 (4)   1-1
SNFL Eleven's Elevolutionaries    9 (7)   0-2
SNFL Mud Eaters   10 (8)   0-2
SNFL The Ox   11 (5)   1-1
SNFL The Taco Kings   12 (12)   0-2

Good luck in Week 3. Except for Quinton, I hope all his players get AIDS on Sunday.

-Jon

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Wednesday, September 21, 2011

12 Observations: Week 3

1. themadoompaloompas: The biggest surprise this year, ‘oompaloopas have dominated their competition in a record setting way. Last year, this owner took on the brutal task of reorganizing the defunct Silly Nannies, and ended up in last place. Now, they hold what looks like the Fantasy MVP, Tom Brady, at their disposal. Oh, and some guy named Adrian Peterson… no big deal!

2. Carnegie PantyRaiders: Alright, I’ll say it… I may have misjudged this team in the preseason. Clearly they hold two of the most explosive RBs in the league. On top of that, Rex Grossman (need I repeat that?) REX GROSSMAN is supplying this team with impressive numbers. I’ll hold off on my predictions.

3. Core Protection: Their WRs are as dominate or even more dominate than I expected. Unlike like the tightly contested NFC, it is clear that Core Protection is the king of the SFC. So far, this team has avoided injuries, but remember: last year this team went 2-0 to start the season. After that… they lost 6 straight.

4. The DAWGS: You thought their RBs were dead?! With the help of Fred Jackson, this team dominated last week. The loss of Miles Austin will hurt, especially after he had 30+ points last week. If this team can keep up the consistent play (which plagued them last year) they’ll be tough to stop. This week’s matchup with rival Mud Eaters will prove whether this team is ready to compete.

5. Team Canuckistan: They may have (defiantly did) hit the jackpot with Rob Gronkowski, but their starting QB, Tony Romo got banged up last week. It’ll be interesting to see how they manage their injures. Luckily, they have a great matchup this week against a team they have only lost once to in 7 games.

6. The Lance Armstrongs: This quiet owner had many on edge. Their laid back approach had many questioning if they had the ability to compete in the SNFL. Defeating the runner up to the SFC Championship was a good way to disprove those assumptions. Not to mention, they may have hit the goldmine with Cam Newton, who’s thrown for over 400+ yards the last two games.

7. Q: After week 1, it seemed clear that this team was going to be the worst team in the league just like the preseason polls had predicted. That turned out not to be the case. No better way to show up the haters than beating last year’s SNFL Champion. Darren McFadden is turning out to be a true stud, and with QB Aaron Rodgers, they can put up some monster points.

8. The Ox: Someone wishes they had taken Ray Rice with the second overall pick rather than Jamaal Charles. This team is already at a cross road in their season, and it’s only week 3. Each move they make become more and more significant to their season (no pressure). Make on bad pick up and the season is over, however plenty of teams last year faced similar adversity and made the playoffs. This is where your skills are truly put to the test.

9. LasTortugas AmarillasHwangsaeg: Don’t over react!! Week 2 was unfortunate, but who could predict the pathetic numbers by DeSean Jackson and Wes Welker? With Charles down, McCluster could turn out to be a steal. This is going to be one of those teams that goes up and down all season, and with a matchup against the defending SNFL Champion coming up… there are going to be a few more downs.

10. Eleven'sElevenElevolutionaries: The preseasons number 2 ranked team is falling fast! Chris Johnson’s slow start will eventually end, but they have a serious TE issue. What happens Sunday night? Michael Vick goes down with a concussion! Luckily for Eleven, it doesn’t seem that bad, but we’ll see what happens. They better hope Vick is back for their game, because they’re got to play the dominate Core Protection who is lucking for vengeance for VJaxgate last year.

11. Mud Eaters: Well well well well well… 0-2, no Arian Foster, and now they’ve got to play against the only team they’ve never beat… 2010 seems so far away. After losing the PWC Bowl II, they’ve continued to lose (3 straight). Steve Smith is turning out to be better than expected. That will help since a lot of their sleepers aren’t living up to expectations. Let’s not forget, the Mud Eaters are completely healthy.

12. THE TACO KINGS: Either this team completely sucks, or the football gods absolutely hate Mexicans. THE TACO KINGS have been beat by at least 45+ points in their past two games. This team has the least amount of points in the SNFL, as well as the most amount of points scored on them. In fact, they almost have more PA them than the top scoring team, themadoompaloompas, has PF! GOOD NEWS: THE TACO KINGS play themadoompaloompas this week!!

-Taylor

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Quick Glance: Week 3

  • Mud Eaters v. The DAWGS

o The DAWGS are 2-0 against the Mud Eaters (and currently playing them in a fantasy baseball championship game).

  • LasTortugas AmarillasHwangsaeg v. Team Canuckistan

o A matchup of two Original Four teams, Team Canukistan is 6-1 in the regular season against LasTortugas.

  • The Lance Armstrongs v. Q

o This is the first matchup between these two teams.

  • Core Protection v. Eleven'sElevenElevolutionaries

o Core Protection is 2-1 in the regular season against Eleven. The last meeting between these two teams resulted in the VJax scandal during the first round of the playoffs, which caused Core Protection to lose to Eleven.

  • The Ox v. Carnegie PantyRaiders

o The Ox is 0-2 against the Carnegie PantyRaiders in the regular season; however, in last year’s playoffs, The Ox defeated the Carnegie PantyRaiders in the first round.

  • themadoompaloompas v. THE TACO KINGS

o This is the first matchup between these two teams.

ü themadoompaloompas broke the Mud Eaters' record for most points in a game with 173.65 points.

ü themadoompaloompas also broke the record for largest point differential in a game with 96.4 points.

ü Going back to week 14 of last year’s SNFL season, themadoompaloompas have had over 100 points in three straight games.

ü Currently, the longest win streak is held by themadoompaloompas (3 going back to week 14 of last year).

ü themadoompaloompas are on pace to break the Mud Eaters record for total points in a regular season (1641.35) with 1815.45 points.

ü The Mud Eaters have lost two straight games for the first time in team history. Going back to the PWC Bowl II, they have lost 3 straight.

ü Q beat Team Canuckistan and themadoompaloompas beat The Ox for the first time in their history

ü The Lance Armstrongs became the first of the two new expansion teams to get their first victory.

-Taylor

Friday, September 16, 2011

I wish she was in our league. Mostly because she is hot, also cause she picks players based on their sexiness (so I'm sure she drafted Marshawn Lynch).

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Power Rankings: Week 2

Here are this week's ranks, brought to you by Netflix® - Watch TV Shows Online!.

The ranks this week were decided by the votes of 5 SNFL owners. If you want to vote for future rankings, make sure you send me your ranks by Thursday each week. Enjoy.


 TEAM   RANK      REC     WHAT WE'VE LEARNED
SNFL Carnegie PantyRaiders    1 (8)   1-0 Jaime should be more careful next time he faces Daniel or he'll end up with a rape lawsuit on his hands.
SNFL Core Protection    2 (3)   1-0
Fred's team is kinda good, I guess.
SNFL Team Canuckistan    3 (1)   1-0
With a Week 1 victory, Jon becomes the first SNFL owner to reach 20 career wins.
SNFL Las Tortugas Negras    4 (11)   1-0
It is completely possible to masturbate to Wes Welker without being gay.
SNFL The Ox    5 (7)   1-0
You can win games even if your opponent's bench outscores your starters.
SNFL themadoomploompas    6 (9)   1-0
Bhavik isn't in last place? I must be dreaming!
SNFL Eleven's Elevolutionaries    7 (2)   0-1
I can't think of anything so just click this instead.
SNFL Mud Eaters    8 (6)   0-1
Fantasy football success doesn't carry over from one season to the next.
SNFL Q    9 (12)   0-1
Is it ironic that John was defeated by Rice?
SNFL The DAWGS   10 (4)   0-1
Taylor's only criterion for drafting RB's this year was that they must have the durability of a newborn hemophiliac baby with glass bones.
SNFL The Lance Armstrongs   11 (10)   0-1
You can competely ignore your team still score more points than 2 other teams.
SNFL The Taco Kings   12 (5)   0-1
If you convert Daniel's score to Pesos, he scored 1118.80 points this week! Amazing!!!



-Jon

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Quick Glance: Week 2

· The DAWGS v. THE TACO KINGS

o This is the first matchup between these two teams.

· Team Canuckistan v. Q

o Team Canuckistan is 2-0 in the regular season against Q. These teams have never met in the playoffs.

· LasTortugas AmarillasHwangsaeg v. Core Protection

o Both teams have split the series in the regular season, 1-1. Last year, Core Protection beat LasTortugas to end a league record 6 game loss streak.

· Eleven'sElevenElevolutionaries v. The Lance Armstrongs

o This is the first matchup between these two teams.

· The Ox v. themadoompaloompas

o The Ox is 2-0 in the regular season against themadoompaloompas. Last year themadoompaloompas lost by at least 23+ points in each of their games against The Ox.

· Carnegie PantyRaiders v. Mud Eaters

o The Mud Eaters are 2-0 against Carnegie PantyRaiders in the regular season. Last years, Mud Eaters had the most points in the SNFL, the Carnegie PantyRaiders finished second.

ü For the first time, the Mud Eaters have lost 2 straight games (going back to PWC Bowl II).

ü LasTortugas finished last year scoring 57.50 points, they start off this season leading the SFC in scoring with 121.15 (second overall).

ü Carnegie PantyRaiders broke a team record for most points in a game (132.25).

ü This year’s lowest scoring team in week 1 has 84.95 points; last year’s had 52.90 (still the SNFL record).

-Taylor

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

12 Questions: Week 1

1. Team Canuckistan: Would they be willing to trade their PWC Championship to prevent this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTwx0poFmmo) from ever happening?

2. Eleven'sElevenElevolutionaries: Is it possible for this team to have a worst opening game than last year?

3. Can't Spell Elite Without Eli: But could you not also spell unreliable?

4. The DAWGS: Would it piss you off if I said this is my preseason favorite to win the PWC Bowl?

5. THE TACO KINGS: Can the SNFL cash in on some more NFL.com Shop discounts now that we’re clearly an equal opportunity employer?

6. Somewhere over Dwayne Bowe: Now the question becomes, what exactly IS over Dwayne Bowe? And can it unlock the secret to beating The DAWGS?

7. The Ox: Will Sidney Rice be last year’s Larry Fitzgerald?

8. Carnegie PantyRaiders: I see debates on whether Tom Brady or Peyton Manning is more important for the Patriots or Colts, but shouldn’t the debate really be on whether Peyton Manning is more important to the Colts or this team?

9. themadoompaloompas: Did the flex leave less well known players on the free agency  market, or did having a new competent owner at this year draft do that?

10. The Lance Armstrongs: If they defeat Team Canuckistan in a week 1 matchup… well, who’ll be laughing now?

11. Las Tortugas Negras: What will be harder to figure out: whether this team is any good or what color turtle they’ll end up being?

12. Q: What’s the worse: being the last place team in the SNFL preseason ranking or being the first ever team to be on page 2 on Microsoft Word for 10 questions?

-Taylor

Monday, September 5, 2011

Bold Predictions for the 2011 Season

Today I will be making some BOLD PREDICTIONS for the SNFL. These predictions are meant to turn heads and spark debate. I hope you enjoy them.

1. The Ox and Somewhere Over Dwayne Bowe suffer injuries: I know what you guys are thinking. What? Fred are you crazy? Ryan and Kevin take such good care of their players and intentionally pick guys that aren't injury prone! Well you heard it here first my friends. This season Ryan and Kevin will have at least one injury to a key player on their team. I don't know when it will happen. I don't know who it will happen to, but mark my words. It will happen.

2. Themadoompaloompas finishes above last place in the league: OK everyone quit laughing. I know Bhavik has a bad reputation since he finished in last place last year and offered the legendary "Bhavik Trades," but let's look deeper. Bhavik inherited the worst team ever drafted in the history of fantasy football (The Silly Nannies) and still went on to win some games, some even being over playoff teams (Core Protection, Team Canuckistan). Not only that, but he put up the second greatest fantasy performance of all time in the SNFL when he played Team Canuckistan. All I'm saying is watch out for themadoompaloompas this season.

3. The DAWGS lose to Somewhere over Dwayne Bowe: Last year Kevin's team had a sparkling 12-2 record. Who did those two losses come to you ask? Why, The DAWGS of course. This season, this gutsy blogger is predicting that the DAWGS victory streak is snapped. The two teams meet up twice in a heated NFC rivalry so be on the look out.

4. There is a new winner of the PWC Bowl this season: Team Canuckistan was a good team last year, but can they do it all again? I'm going to say no. New team, and low depth across all teams is going to make this season extremely competitive. No team is locked in the playoffs, much less locked to win the PWC Bowl.

5. The SFC Makes it two in a row:Last year the SFC dominated bowl week going 3-0. This league is extremely top heavy. They won't turn many heads with their regular season matchups against the NFC but come playoffs, when the top 3 SFC teams have made it they will be a force to be reckoned with.

So that's that. Let the debates begin.

-Fred

NFC Season Preview


1. The DAWGS

Last year: (6-8), Career: (10-18)

Key Players: Michael Vick, Stephan Jackson, and Miles Austin

Analysis: After just missing out on the playoffs last year, The DAWGS come into 2011 much like they did in 2010. They boast a strong RB core in Stephan Jackson and Knowshon Moreno, along with flex player Beanie Wells. Also, they have duel threat QB Michael Vick who, if he can come close to his stats from last year, could be the missing link to The DAWGS playoff chances. However, like last year this team has question marks at WR. If The DAWGS are to make the playoffs, they’ll need to find a good complement to Miles Austin.

2. THE TACO KINGS

Last year: DNP

Key Players: Phillip Rivers, Arian Foster, and Antonio Gates

Analysis: One of the most shocking revelations in this year’s preseason poll was the fifth place ranking of TACO KING. Being picked ahead of the three NFC playoff teams last year, one being the team with the best SNFL record last year, comes with some lofty expectations. This team has questions at the RB and WR position and will need last year’s Fantasy MVP, Arian Foster, to carry the load. If Antonio Gates  can stay healthy and carry on from his production last year, THE TACO KINGS could very well exceed expectation for this year.

3. Somewhere over Dwayne Bowe

Last year: (12-2), Career: (12-2)

Key Players:  Maurice Jones-Drew, Ahmad Bradshaw, DeAngelo Williams, and Andre Johnson  

Analysis: Last year’s NFC Champion comes into 2011, surprisingly, underrated. Undefeated against every SNFL opponent (save one) in the regular season did not weigh in when voters made this year’s preseason rankings. ‘Bowe (Bowe Bow… How is that not a rhyme?!) has one of the strongest RB cores in the league with three Pro Bowl RBs. Admittedly, there are also injury concerns that could pose a potential roadblock for a team looking to get back to the PWC Championship. Their QB and WR depth leaves something to be desired. Matt Schaub and Plaxico Burress wont scare any opponent, but don’t sleep on this team. There are only three teams that can say they’ve never lost to ‘Bowe… two are expansion teams.

4. The Ox

Last year: (8-6), Career: (15-13)

Key Players: Jamaal Charles, Peyton Hillis, and Matt Forte

Analysis: In 2009 The Ox won a championship with one of the most dominate RB combinations of all time (Chris Johnson and MJD). Now in 2011, it looks like they plan to try and duplicate this technique. Unquestionably, boasting the best RB core in the league (Along with Charles, Hillis, and Forte; they have BenJarvus Green-Ellis) The Ox won’t lose any RB rankings battles. They would lose a WR beauty pageant, as they have some uncertainty at all there receiving positions (including TE). That’s not to say this team can’t/won’t compete. There is no clear front runner in the NFC, and if Lloyd and Knox can match or even expand on last year’s strong performance, this team will make the playoffs. A serious injury to that WR group however, will severely cripple them.

5. Carnegie PantyRaiders

Last year: (6-8), Career: (6-8)

Key Players: LeSean McCoy and Peyton Manning

Analysis: The season could ride completely on Peyton Manning’s health status. If he misses expended time, PantyRaiders will look to sleeper Sam Bradford to carry this team back into the playoffs. QB aside, this team is deep at every position and possibly the deepest team in the league. However, much of their depth is sleepers and rookies. The season is going to go one of two ways for the PantyRaiders: 1.) Their sleepers play to the level that they are expected to play and this team just makes it into the playoffs. 2.) Those same sleepers turn out to be complete bust and Peyton Manning is out for 5-6 games, forcing the PantyRaiders to play obscure players for the rest of the year resulting in last place. Who knows where this team will stand when it all said and done.

6. themadoompaloompas

Last year: (4-9), Career: (4-9)

Key Players: Tom Brady, Adrian Peterson, and Larry Fitzgerald

Analysis: This owner proved to be much more competent then last year’s Silly Nannies owner (though Tim Tebow still got drafted). Needless to say, themadoompaloompas look much better this year and could very well make the playoffs. With their Big 3 combination at QB, RB, and WR this team could put up some big numbers. With Felix Jones and New York Jets defense added to that, themadoompaloompas won’t find it as hard as last year to get some wins. If they ever have to rely on their bench, that would spell the end to their season. Overall, if this is the weakest team in the NFC… well this will be one competitive year.

-Taylor 

SFC Season Preview

1. Team Canuckistan

Last year: (9-5), Career: (19-9)

Key Players: Calvin Johnson and Frank Gore

Analysis: Last year’s SNFL champion comes back looking as strong as last year, receiving the first place vote in the SNFL preseason poll. Overall, this team is very balanced with Calvin Johnson and Mike Williams as their starting WRs, along with Mario Manningham; as well as having a strong core of RBs: Frank Gore, LeGarrette Blount, and Ryan Matthews. The one weakness of this team would be their depth. If Tony Romo goes down again this season, Team Canukistan will have to rely on their WRs and RBs to stay healthy, or face a turbulent regular season. However, expect this team to continue its dominate reign of consistency.   

2.  Eleven’sElevenElevolutionaries

Last year: 6-8, Career: (6-8)

Key Players: Chris Johnson and Roddy White

Analysis: Man do I hope this team wins/loses 11 games!! I digress… A stunning participant in last year’s playoffs, Eleven comes into this season with absolutely no QB trouble (which plagued them last year). Turns out they have a minor RB problem. After holding out the entire preseason, Chris Johnson is back however the possibility of injury has to concern Eleven. After Johnson there is almost no depth at that position. It’ll be up to a strong WR core and Roethlisberger to get Eleven into the playoffs. It looks like another close finish for Eleven’sElevenElevolutionaries this year.

3. Can’t Spell Elite Without Eli

Last year: 6-8, Career: (6-8)

Key Player: Greg Jennings, Vincent Jackson, and Ray Rice

Analysis: It seemed dark for ‘Eli during their SNFL record six game lose streak. However, like Eleven’sElevenElevolutionaries, they came back and made it into the playoffs (ironically because of Vincent Jackson). Last year’s first place preseason team stands out at the WR position with Jennings, Jackson, and Britt. Going along with my pick for this year’s Fantasy MVP Ray Rice, ‘Eli could steamroll opponents with their starting lineup. Yet, ‘Eli’s strength could turn out to be a weakness as this team is going to need their WRs to be that dominate force. The bad news… as far as the bench goes, this team won’t scare anyone… the good news, if ‘Eli’s starters are healthy and productive, they won’t need a bench.   

4. The Lance Armstrongs

Last year: DNP

Key Players: Drew Brees and Mike Wallace

Analysis: Impressive that a newbie was ranked ahead of two seasoned owners. The Lance Armstrongs will need this kind of self-confident swagger in the tightly contested SFC. Their draft was met with, to start off, admiration and, at other times, rookie miscues. Overall, they drafted a competitive team, and perhaps got one of the steals of the draft in Brandon Marshall. Surprisingly, The Lance Armstrongs went with the decision to carry three QBs, which could hurt their depth if a starter goes down to injury. In that case, they’ll need to learn quickly how to work the waiver wire, or they could fall down the standings in a hurry.

5.  Las Tortugas Negras

Last year: (6-8), Career: (13-15)

Key Players: Rashard Mendenhall and Baltimore Ravens Defense

Analysis: The Black Turtles could never find solid footing last year; at one point looking like the worst team in the league, to being a solid playoff pick, then back to mediocrity. This year the team didn’t find any love in the preseason polls, getting ranked eleventh out of twelve teams. This team has solid RBs in Mendenhall and Benson, but their tough AFC North opponents could spell trouble for the Turtles. DeSean Jackson and Wes Welker will give the Turtles the confidence to face any opponent this year. Yet, it is obvious that Las Tortugas Negras will need to be scouting the waiver wire for some late season gems to overcome the big guns in the SFC.

6.  Q

Last year: (6-8), Career: (6-8)

Key Players: Aaron Rodgers, Darren McFadden, and Jason Witten

Analysis: In a shocker, Q (thank you for such an easy team name) was ranked as the worst team in the SNFL! Perhaps, it is due to their late season collapse that resulted in them falling completely out of the playoffs after being the only team to start the season 3-0. Whatever is the case; this team has reloaded and come into the season with a fire in their hearts to prove all the doubters wrong. If McFadden can stay healthy, Q will have to rely on preseason standout Tim Hightower to give him a worthy one-two punch. Receiving wise, they have enough depth to stay in the hunt for that missed playoff spot that still haunts them till this day. Watch for this team to be surprise team of 2011.  

-Taylor