PWC Bowl II - Weekend Preview

This came as a result of me being bored with no internet access last night. The file is huge (relatively small compared to my penis etc etc) and it might take a bit to load, so be patient. Enjoy!

(Click on the image for full size)


-Jon

Power Rankings: Week 14

	TEAM	RANK	REC	WHAT WE'VE LEARNED
	Andre Johnson's Fist	1 (1)	11-2	As much as we all hoped and prayed this entire season, Arian Foster did not get injured. Should we just give up and name Kevin the winner now?
	Chronic Habsturbators	2 (2)	9-4	Is this team the fantasy equivalent of the Colts? So far they own the best regular-season record over 2 years (19-8) but have still not won a playoff game.
	The Ox	3 (3)	8-5	Apparently drafting Owen Daniels in the 3rd round and a kicker in the 6th round gets you to the playoffs. Take notes kids!
	Core Protection	4 (5)	6-7	If Fred wins any more games, we should probably get used to hearing WOOOSH OH MY DICK WOOSH I AM SO HARD WOOSH WOOSH WOOSH
	Carnegie PantyRaiders	5 (4)	6-7	I thought Frank Gore's injury was just a fluke, but have Bowe's and Hillis' recent performances proven that karma indeed exists?
	The DAWGS	6 (6)	5-7	For one, we learned Taylor really sucks cock at picking starters. And now with Taylor out, there's nobody left who can beat Kevin.
	El Cid	7 (8)	6-7	This team will need strong performances from Cris Johson, Joe Flatto, Reggye Waine, and Josh Sccoobbe in order to beat Anrde Johnsin's Fist and secure a playoff berth.
	Eleven's Chosen Ones	8 (7)	5-8	It's pretty amazing that this team is still in playoff contention after spending most of the season in last place. Props to Garrick for the clutch turnaround.
	themadoompaloompas	9 (9)	4-9	A loss this week would equal The TRONS' record for worst regular season percentage. Too bad last place teams don't get a free pass to playoffs this year
	Las Tortugas Negras	10 (10)	5-8	What is there left to say? I mean Quinton didn't draft his team so he (kinda) has an excuse, but finishing the season behind Bhavik in power rankings? That's just embarrassing.

	LEGEND
	Clinched playoff spot
	Clinched playoff bye
	Eliminated from playoffs

-Jon

10 Questions

Since Taylor is gay and Jonathan won't post his Power Rankings until someone posts 10 Q's here is my take of the classic article:

*1. Mud Eaters: Is Jonathan gay?

*2. Team Canuckistan: Why IS the owner of this team so gay?

*3.The Ox: Jonathan's penis is rumored to be approximately 4 inches but is it true?

4. Carnegie PantyRaiders: Why is this team so lucky?

5. Core Protection: Why is the owner of this team so damn fine?

6. Red Tiger: If Jonathan is gay in the middle of a forest and no one is there to hear him is he still gay?

7. The DAWGS: Why is Cooper so afraid of the water? Is he like Jonathan (gay)?

8. Eleven's Chosen Ones: Why the FUCK were you done with exams before I was done with classes?

9. Las Tortugas Negras: If I told you that Jonathan used the word niggers in every other sentence would you be mad at him?

10. themadoompaloompas: Is Bhavik really small or just Iodine deficient?

There you go. The special edition of 10 Q's.

*- indicates playoff berth

-Fred

Quick Picks

Abridged picks this week. Sorry I didn't release them last week. Thanksgiving break kept me away from the computer. Anyway...

Game of the Week: Eleven's Chosen Ones vs. Las Tortugas Negras.

This is an elimination game for the playoffs. Essentially, the loser is out, and the winner still will need some help but has a good shot of going to the playoffs.

Who wins it: Eleven's Chosen Ones

Game 2: Core Protection Phoenix vs. The Chronic Habsturbators

The classic rematch of the "Core Bowl." The Chronic Habsturbators have locked playoffs and first round bye, Core Protection needs one more win to lock playoffs. Lately The Chronic Habsturbators have been down and Core Protection has been up. Should be a close one.

Who wins it: Core Protection Phoenix

Game 3: Andre Johnson's Fist vs. themadoompaloompas

...Seriously?

Who wins it: Andre Johnson's Fist

Game 4: The DAWGS vs. The Ox

This game also is important to the playoffs. The Ox needs one more win to lock up playoffs, while the DAWGS must win this game to stay in the playoff race. If the Ox loses this one they will be in serious danger of falling out of playoff contention to The DAWGS.

Who wins it: The Ox

Game 5: The Redskins of Fantasy Land vs. The Carnegie PantyRaiders

The Redskins of Fantasy Land have been looking a lot like early season Core Protection lately. They are on a L4 streak and will have a very hard time making it to the playoffs if they do not in this game. A win by the PantyRaiders will lock up a playoff spot for them.

Who wins it: The Carnegie PantyRaiders

The playoff picture will look much clearer after this week.

Good luck!

By the way I still have yet to go 5-0. Maybe this week?

-Fred

Power Rankings: Week 13

	TEAM	RANK	REC	WHAT WE'VE LEARNED
	Andre Johnson's Fist	1 (1)	10-2	I'm not sure which was more brutal, Andre Johnson's ass-whooping of Cortland Finnegan or Kevin's ass-whooping of Las Tortugas Negras...
	Chronic Habsturbators	2 (2)	9-3	This team is quietly riding a W4 streak, but has not finished in the top 5 week points since Week 6. However they also have a free ride to the SFC Championship so none of the next 3 weeks even matter.
	The Ox	3 (3)	7-5	Despite losing to the PantyRaiders in Week 12, they put up a strong showing that would have beaten most other teams. Just one more win will guarantee a playoff spot.
	Carnegie PantyRaiders	4 (4)	6-6	Karma, thy name is Frank Gore.
	Phoenix of the Core	5 (6)	5-7	Was I the only one who had counted them out after a 2-6 start? Playing in what is generally considered as the "weaker" conference may have helped a bit with this team's resurrection however.
	The DAWGS	6 (5)	5-7	In true Taylor style, here's a fun Youtube Video that probably has nothing to do with anything but I'll post it anyway.
	Eleven's Chosen Ones	7 (9)	4-8	Has anyone besides Fred even seen Garrick since the draft? What if Garrick's team is actually a ploy by Fred to boost his own team's status? Would anyone be surprised?
	Redskins of Fantasy Land	8 (8)	5-7	What does it mean to be the Redskins of Fantasy Land? Being the most valuable SNFL franchise? Being the weakest link in your division? Having no chance at playoffs? Who knows...
	themadoompaloompas	9 (10)	4-8	It only took 12 weeks for Bhavik to get his team out of the last rank! Which means he should achieve 8th place sometime between Weeks 9 and 10 of next year.
	Las Tortugas Negras	10 (7)	5-7	I imagine the Week 13 battle between this team and Eleven's Chosen Ones will look something like this

	LEGEND
	Clinched playoff spot
	Clinched playoff bye
	Eliminated from playoffs

Note that themadoompaloompas are still mathematically in playoff contention, but would have to win both of their remaining games while the PantyRaiders and DAWGS lose both of theirs, and outscore the PantyRaiders by at least 213 points over the course of those two games. So I think it's safe to say they won't make it. Sorry Bhavik, at least you'll get an early draft pick next year.

That's all for this week, I wish everyone except Fred good luck in your matchups.

Vincere est totum,
Victoria aut mors,
Vivat SFC!

-Jon

10 Questions

1. *Mud Eaters: Isn’t it kinda weird that their coach is, in a way, out coaching Urban Meyer?   

2. *Team Canuckistan: Since they clinched a bye week, will this team try their best to destroy the dream of Core Protection? And if they succeed, why not call the team The Freddy Kruegers?

3. The Ox: What’s worse, Adrian Peterson getting out played by Peyton Hillis or possibly losing a playoff spot to the Carnegie PantyRaiders and The DAWGS?

4. Carnegie PantyRaiders: Defenses have bye weeks?! Do we need to have lineups set before Thursday Night Football?! This team is close to clinching a playoff spot?!

5. Core Protection: Are we about to put this team in the same breath as the 2009 TRONS?

6. The DAWGS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qwq7BYOnDrM

7. Las Tortugas Negras: There is no shame in losing to the Mud Eaters, but if they lose their next game, will there be hell to pay?

8. Red Tiger: Can there be any doubt that their game against the Carnegie PantyRaiders will have HUGE implications to the playoff race?

9. themadoompaloompas: With Reggie Bush having a total of 13.40 points… maybe the Silly Nannies were on to something when they wanted to draft Tim Tebow… hmm? 

10. Eleven’s Chosen Ones: Is it fair to say that they need to be Thirteen and Fourteen’s chosen one?

*- indicates playoff berth

-Taylor

Week 12 Recap

After a short hiatus, recaps and power rankings will return this week. I'd say Thanksgiving was my excuse but Canadian Thanksgiving was a month ago and I was just being a lazy fuck. So here goes.

Results
1. Mud Eaters def 7. Las Tortugas Negras
2. Team Canuckistan def 9. Eleven's Chosen Ones
4. Carnegie PantyRaiders def 3. The Ox
10. themadoomploompas def 5. The DAWGS
6. Core Protection def 8. Red Tiger

Conference Stats
SFC Total Points: 5144.95
NFC Total Points: 5568.30
SFC vs NFC Record: 10-13

Featured Analysis
This week's featured analysis is more of a what-if thing. I changed the scoring system according to some ideas we had for next year's system. This method weighs touchdowns less and yards more to prevent the dreaded "vulture effect." This is just an experiment, we'll be discussing the actual changes at the SNFLOA meeting before the start of next season.

So the table you see shows each team's Points For (PF) with the Old system and the New system, the difference in score between Old and New, and the change in wins (for example, a +2 in this column would mean that the team got 2 more wins under the new system than the old)

Team Name	PF-Old	PF-New	Change	Wins
Mud Eaters	1373	1412	39	-1
Team Canuckistan	1223	1268	45	-2
The Ox	1240	1292	53	+1
Carnegie PantyRaiders	1286	1345	59	-1
Core Protection	1182	1273	91	+1
The DAWGS	1166	1203	38	+1
Red Tiger	1082	1144	63	0
Las Tortugas Negras	1049	1103	54	0
Eleven's Chosen Ones	1126	1185	61	+1
themadoompaloompas	1073	1122	49	0

Oh and sorry for the false alarm with power rankings last week, but I'll definitely be doing them this week. Send me your ranks, you know the drill.

-Jon

10 Questions

 I know what you’re saying… “Taylor!!! Tom Brady and the New England Patriots just won the best regular season game of the year!!!! However, you barely celebrated, not even a ‘TD LORD BRADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’ What gives?!” Relax football fans… I got your back. Did you really think I wouldn’t celebrate my ass off?! Sure, The DAWGS just finished sweeping the Mud Eaters, the only team to beat and not lose to the Mud Eaters, but Brady over Manning is just soooooo much more important. Besides, I’ll have plenty of time to celebrate The DAWGS after the NFC Championship game (Yeah I said it!!). But for now, 10 Questions has been reinvented to show some of the best moments of MAI BOI, and your Lord, Tom Brady’s career. (Note: I tried to make each video relevant to each person… some of them don’t have anything to do with you, they’re just awesome, but for others they are just another example of how the Patriots are better than your team.)

1. Mud Eaters: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akiy2w9D5bU

2. Team Canuckistan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGWjti8fWAs

3. The Ox: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJ7pfVVMHVM&feature=related

4. Carnegie PantyRaiders: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1s4ReSvjyA&feature=related

5. Red Tiger: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkIAWVThMUM

6. The DAWGS: http://www.nfl.com/videos/new-england-patriots/09000d5d803e858a/NFL-GameDay-Patriots-vs-Colts-highlights

7. Las Tortugas Negras: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZpPIXFfUno&feature=related

8. Core Protection: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9I5VazvGy4M

9. The Disciples of Eleven: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmDc8Rsy2f4&feature=related

10. themadoompaloompas: http://www.nfl.com/videos/new-england-patriots/09000d5d8037e850/NFL-GameDay-Patriots-vs-Dolphins-highlights

And just incase you missed one of the best games of the Patriots-Colts rivalry I have your back: http://www.nfl.com/videos/new-england-patriots/09000d5d81c4de9a/GameDay-Colts-vs-Patriots-highlights

-Taylor

Power Rankings: Week 11

I apologize for the delay but I haven't had much time to do the rankings this week. And seeing as it's Friday night I don't really feel like writing anything, so you'll have to live without What We've Learned this week. So here are the rankings according to the average of the 6 people who voted this week.

The usual ranking format should be back for next week, so don't forget to submit your votes by Wednesday.

	TEAM	RANK	REC	WHAT WE'VE LEARNED
	Mud Eaters	1 (1)	9-1	SHIVA
	Chronic Habsturbators	2 (3)	7-3	KAMINI
	The Ox	3 (2)	6-4	SOMAR
	Carnegie PantyRaiders	4 (4)	4-6	KANDAR
	The DAWGS	5 (5)	4-6	KRAM
	The Corepire Protects Back	6 (6)	4-6	SHIVA
	Las Tortugas Negras	7 (9)	5-5	KAMINI
	Red Tiger	8 (7)	5-5	SOMAR
	Disciples of Eleven	9 (8)	3-7	KANDAR
	themadoompaloompas	10 (10)	3-7	KRAM

Vincere est totum,
Victoria aut mors,
Vivat SFC!

-Jon

Picks: Week 11

I apologize SNFLers. I have a service to uphold and have been doing a poor job of it. I have been very busy this semester and have been unable to pick every week. This week's picks are for you guys. With every team still in the playoffs race this week should be huge. So let's get down to the picks.

Game of the Week:

Red Tiger vs. Eleven's Chosen Ones

This game decides so much. The loser of this game is nearly knocked out of the playoff race in the SFC, while the winner gets a huge boost there. Red Tiger has been up and down all season, but as of late they are going through a slump. Eleven's Chosen Ones have been even more up and down this season. They also are in a slump. Any team can win this and it is anybody's guess as to who will. Luckily your "master picker" thinks he knows.

Who wins it: Eleven's Chosen Ones

Why: Both teams have ridiculous matchups this week and will put up quite a few points. While Red Tiger appears to have the better players, Eleven's Chosen Ones have been putting up better numbers as of late. The lack of an RB2 will also come back to haunt Red Tiger this game.

Game 2: Core Protection vs. The Ox

This game means a whole lot more for Core Protection than it does the Ox. The Ox has 4 games to secure one win to get into the playoffs while Core Protection needs to win out or come close to it. As of late Core Protection has been putting up points well over the 100 mark and they have become very top heavy. To win this though,they will need to play their best football against the dominating Ox.

Who wins it: Core Protection

Why: This team needs the win more, and I think it will show as they take on The Ox. Core Protection's players play with heart and they have huge momentum going into this one. It won't be easy though and expect the Ox to easily eclipse 100.

Game 3: Team Canuckistan vs. Las Tortugas Negras

This game is another important one. At least for Las Tortugas Negras. Team Canuckistan has locked up their playoff appearance, but a win here will go a long way for their first round bye. On the other hand, Las Tortugas almost MUST win this one to stay hopeful in the playoffs. A loss here could be devastating but it will not eliminate them completely. Team Canuckistan looks to rebound after four shitty games in a row and keep his #1 points for ranking in the SFC.

Who wins it: Team Canuckistan

Why: Team Canuckistan has struggled these past four weeks, but Las Tortugas Negras has struggled far worse. Las Tortugas Negras did have a huge upset over Red Tiger last week, but both teams were low scoring. Do not expect the same thing against the mighty Canucks.

Game 4: The Carnegie PantyRaiders vs. themadoompaloompas

The Carnegie PantyRaiders have been nothing but lucky this season. Of course there was their epic comeback vs. Core Protection, but let's also not forget Jeff Reed's missed field goal in the final seconds vs. The DAWGS and of course their 130 point game keeping them from having the highest margin of defeat in SNFL history. themadoompaloompas are one loss away from being completely eliminated from playoff contention. This game means everything to them.

Who wins it: The Carnegie PantyRaiders

Why: They are so lucky. Expect this one to go into MNF and then some bullshit happens. But in all honesty The Carnegie PantyRaiders quietly have the #2 points for in the SNFL and should easily overcome themadoompaloompas #10 points for ranking.

Game 5: The Mud Eaters vs. The DAWGS

The Mud Eaters are one game away from locking up a first round bye in the playoffs, while the DAWGS are one loss away from extremely decreased playoff hopes. The DAWGS have shown heart in their games so far this season, and always show up against The Mud Eaters. Expect both teams to play hard this week.

Who wins it: The DAWGS

Why: The DAWGS are the only team who have beaten the Mud Eaters this season, and don't think it was a fluke. Expect Tom Brady to lead the DAWGS to a stunning NFC upset that puts The DAWGS front and center for that third NFC playoff spot.

There you have it. Good luck to everyone this week.

-Fred

Playoff Race Update

We have now gone through 10 weeks of intense battle and the playoff race is finally taking a clear, distinct shape. With all teams still technically in playoff contention you need a guide. I am going to walk you through each team's playoff chances and tell what each team has to do to win.

SFC:

Team Canuckistan: This team is the only team in the SFC who has locked up a playoff spot. At 7-3 he is also favored to finish first in the SFC and get the first round bye. To guarantee this he must win 2 games, however that is assuming that either Red Tiger, Las Tortugas Negras, or Core Protection win out. One game will most likely be adequate.

Playoff Chance: 100%

First Round Bye Chance: 80%

Red Tiger: They are at 5-5 and have been off and on lately. To secure a playoff spot this team needs to win at most 2 more games, though one more win might cut it if the other SFC opponents lose to their NFC opponents. To get the first round bye this team must win out or Team Canuckistan must lose out.

Playoff Chance: 70%

First Round Bye Chance: 10%

Las Tortugas Negras: The Black Turtles are also at 5-5 and have been just as off and on. Their win over Red Tiger really boosted them back into the playoff race. However, they are last place in the SFC in points for and you have to wonder if their luck will catch up to them. To get to the playoffs they must win at most 2 more games, though one win might cut it if the other SFC opponents lose to their NFC opponents. To get the first round bye this team must win out or Team Canuckistan must lose out.

Playoff Chance: 50%

First Round Bye Chance: 5%

Core Protection: This team has been the hottest in the SFC as of late, dominating the SFC in points for the past 2 games. After a L6 streak many counted this team out of the playoffs, however if this team wins 3 of their next 4 games playoffs will be guaranteed, and going 2-2 might get them in. The first round bye is still possible for this team too, however they would need to win out and have Team Canuckistan lose out, along with having Las Tortugas Negras and Red Tiger go 2-2 each.

Playoff Chance: 50%

First Round Bye Chance: 5%

Eleven's Chosen Ones: This team is better than their record indicates. They are third in points for behind Team Canuckistan and Core Protection. That is including two worst score of all time performances. To get to the playoffs they almost have to win out. There is a slight chance that they can lose one more but they would need a lot of help from the NFC to get to the playoffs at 6-8. They are completely out of contention for the first round bye.

Playoff Chance: 25%

First Round Bye Chance: 0%

NFC:

The Mud Eaters: No team has been stronger than the Mud Eaters this season, and at 9-1 they have locked up the playoffs and are one win from locking up a first round bye. There is a good chance they could lose out and still have the first round bye, but that would require The Ox to win 3 of their next 4 on top of The Mud Eaters already losing out. The future is bright for The Mud Eaters.

Playoff Chance: 100%

First Round Bye Chance: 95%

The Ox: The Ox has been one of this seasons surprises. At 6-4 this team has not yet secured a playoff position but is one more game from making it likely, and two more games from guaranteeing it. They are also the only other team in the running for the first round bye but they need The Mud Eaters to lose out and they need to win out to have a chance at it.

Playoff Chance: 95%

First Round Bye Chance: 5%

The Carnegie PantyRaiders: This team has clawed its way back into the playoff race but is under no circumstances guaranteed a spot. The battle for this last playoff spot is going to be intense with the PantyRaiders tied with The DAWGS and only one game in front of themadoompaloompas. To get to the playoffs they need to win three more to be likely and win out to guarantee a spot. The team with the best record in the next four weeks will get that coveted third spot.

Playoff Chance: 35%

First Round Bye Chance: 0%

The DAWGS: The DAWGS are fourth in the NFC for the first time in a while. They have the same record as The Carnegie PantyRaiders but are being dominated by points for which makes you wonder which team is more legitimate. To get to the playoffs they must beat the Carnegie PantyRaiders in record the last four games this season, and make sure themadoompaloompas don't catch them offguard.

Playoff Chance: 15%

First Round Bye Chance: 0%

themadoompaloompas: This team is somehow still in the playoff race, but barely. To get to the playoffs they MUST win out, and seeing as how they are last in the SNFL in points for, this will be extremely difficult. They may be the first team completely knocked out of the playoff race with a game against The Carnegie PantyRaiders this week.

Playoff Chance: 1%

First Round Bye Chance: 0%

And there you have it. As expert picker I am sure you all are wondering who I have in the playoffs right now. Here is my list, they are listed in order of how I think each team will finish. Asterisk denotes first round bye and regular season conference champ.

SFC:

Team Canuckistan*

Red Tiger

Core Protection

NFC:

The Mud Eaters*

The Ox

Carnegie PantyRaiders

I will update you on the race again next week.

-Fred

10 Questions

1. Mud Eaters: After their performance last week, should we just go ahead and give them the PWC Trophy?

2. Team Canuckistan: With Mud Eaters drawing all the attention, how “under the radar” can this team get?

3. The Ox: With marching band season over and final exams coming up, could this team dominate the last few weeks of the regular season… like last year?

4. Red Tiger: How surprising is it that after going 3-2 in their first 5 games, they’ve gone 2-3 in the past 5?

5. Las Tortugas Negras: How much more surprising is it that they’ve gone 3-2 in the past 5 games, after starting the season 0-3.   

6. Carnegie PantyRaiders: They failed to capitalize on securing playoff positioning, but with only 1 of their 4 remaining games against a team on a winning streak, will that all change?

7. The DAWGS: After winning 7 straight games... NO ONE BUT THIS TEAM CAN BEAT THE MUD EATERS?!  

8. Core Protection: They’ve won 2 straight, but why do I have a bad feeling about that?

9. The Disciples of Eleven: How much does this team hate The DAWGS after seeing what Michael Vick did on Monday Night Football?

10. themadoompaloompas: How amazing is it that this team has a chance to be in the playoffs?

-Taylor

Week 10 Recap

As opposed to writing a recap, I'll just leave this picture here.



Results
1. The One Cut Back def 5. Carnegie PantyRaiders
2. Chronic Habsturbators def 6. The DAWGS
3. The Ox def 10. themadoompaloompas
7. Las Tortugas Negras def 4. Red Tiger
8. Core Protection Awakening def 9. Eleven's Chosen Ones

Record Update
Highest Point Total (Game): The One Cut Back (O'Leary) with 167.85 points
Previously held by Snappin Turtles (Wilson) with 145.10 points in Week 7, 2009 season

Conference Stats
SFC vs NFC record: 10-12
SFC Total Points: 4741.20
NFC Total Points: 4999.50

Everyone enjoy your Vick-free week! (Everyone except Taylor that is)

-Jon

Picks: Week 10

Once again, Fred was too lazy/retarded to do picks this week. He told me what his picks were so here they are. No reasons given because it's not my problem to make up for what he's too lazy to do.

Picks
Fred, Jon, Jaime, Ryan, John win.

-Jon

Bhavik

Hey is Bhavik really small or just Iodine deficient?

For the life of me I cannot figure it out. Post your thoughts in comments and we'll figure this out together.

-Fred

Power Rankings - Week 10

I've used a slightly different method for the Power Rankings this week. Instead of just deciding on the rankings myself, I've also tallied votes from an anonymous committee of SNFL owners in order to get a more accurate representation of where each team stands.

In the future, if you want your vote to count for the Power Rankings, send me a Facebook message with your ranks (1-10) just like we did in the preseason - but make sure you've sent it by Wednesday each week or I won't be able to include you.

	TEAM	RANK	REC	WHAT WE'VE LEARNED
	The One Cut Back	1 (1)	8-1	You know what this team needs? Injuries. Lots and lots of injuries. Not that it matters, since they've already clinched playoffs...
	The Ox	2 (3)	5-4	Despite losing this week, a decent performance without the dynamic duo of Orton and Lloyd shows that this team is on the rise. Anyone else seeing flashbacks of last season?
	Chronic Habsturbators	3 (2)	6-3	A woefully weak win in week 9 (alliteration anyone?) has dropped this team behind Ryan's in the rankings. But watch out this week, they'll want blood to avenge last season's early playoff exit at the hands of The DAWGS.
	Carnegie PantyRaiders	4 (7)	4-5	After a strong win in Week 9, it's no wonder this team shot up 3 positions in the Power Rankings. But can the hot streak continue against the #1 team in the SNFL?
	The DAWGS	5 (4)	4-5	We all thought justice had come when this team was 1 FG away from giving Jaime a taste of his own medicine (See Week 7 vs. Fred). Too bad his kicker was Jeff Reed, the most unclutch player in the NFL.
	The Corepire Protects Back	6 (8)	3-6	After trading away over 75% of his team in somewhat questionable deals, surely Fred had to start winning some games, right? And amazingly enough, this team is still in playoff contention despite a 2-6 start.
	Red Tiger	7 (5)	5-4	Despite holding onto a winning record, things seem to be spiraling down for this team, which has gone 2-4 since Week 3. Team owner John's unwillingness to make trades could doom them to a finish out of the playoffs.
	Disciples of Eleven	8 (9)	3-6	Despite the loss, our panel of voters unanimously decided that this team should move up in the rankings, because two decent performances in a row could mean that they are finally out of their slump.
	Las Tortugas Negras	9 (6)	4-5	Speaking of being in a slump, Quaaa-aaah's team has only scored above 100 points twice this season, and hasn't done so since Week 5. Another loss would drop them out of their playoff spot.
	themadoompaloompas	10 (10)	3-6	It's only a matter of time until Bhavik rises up out of last place. Let's not get ahead of ourselves though, his team was drafted by a guy who got CJ Spiller in the 3rd round.

Vincere est totum,
Victoria aut mors,
Vivat SFC!

-Jon

10 Questions

1. Mud Eaters: At this point, can we go ahead and say that they’re in the playoffs?

2. Team Canuckistan: Will this team be able to avenge the greatest upset in league history?

3. The Ox: Carson Palmer isn’t helping them win, so how happy is this team that Kyle Orton’s bye week is over?

4. Red Tiger: Is this team in trouble of losing a playoff spot?

5. The DAWGS: Who else heard this playing (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sC75aU47GRk) after Jeff Reed missed a game winning field goal?

6. Carnegie PantyRaiders: Did their game against The DAWGS prove how much better the NFC is compared to the SFC?

7. Las Tortugas Negras: They play in the minority game if the week, but in all seriousness, how important is that game?

8. The Disciples of Eleven: Clearly the most inconsistent team in the league, with a game against the team that held them to the lowest amount of points in league history, is it time for a little payback (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odRFaz4HblQ&feature=related)?

9. Core Protection: Finally, a win… but are the playoffs out of sight?

10. themadoompaloompas: Now that this team is one game back from securing some playoff positioning, do people now understand why I had their owner as owner of the year?

-Taylor

Week 9 Recap

Another eventful week, capped off by an extremely un-clutch MNF game (for some teams). The Oxendine bros both had a chance to mount a serious comeback, but their hopes were dashed as the Bengals offense choked in the red zone with under a minute left to play.

Results
1. Mud Eaters (The One Cut Back?) def 3. The Ox
2. Chronic Habsturbators def 4. Red Tiger
7. Carnegie PantyRaiders def 5. The DAWGS
9. Core Protection 4Ever def 6. Las Tortugas Negras
10. themadoompaloompas def 8. Disciples of Eleven

Record Update
Mud Eaters (O'Nigger): Most consecutive wins - 6. Previously held by Canadian Pwnage (Berthiaume) in the 2009 season.

Conference Stats
SFC vs. NFC record: 9-12
SFC Total Points: 4243.15
NFC Total Points: 4424.30

Too lazy to do an analysis of the week, so deal with it

-Jon

Core Protection Advertisement

By Jonathan

Hello, ladies. Look at your team, now back to mine, now back at your team, now back to mine. Sadly, your team isn't mine, but if you stopped making Bhavik trades it could be like mine. Look down, back up, where are you? You're in the SNFL playoffs with the team your team could be like. What's in your hand? Now back at me. It's an oyster with two tickets to the Superbowl. Look again, the tickets are now a PWC trophy. Anything is possible when your team is Core Protection. I'm on a L6 streak.

PICKS WEEK 9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright I'm rolling deep now. I'm over .500 and ready to go undefeated. On top of this Jacksonville is 4-4, and Florida is 5-3 and one week away from being confirmed into the SEC championship. The NFC has probably got a huge fear boner for the SFC this week. So without further ado here are my picks, note that I am done picking margin of victory because it is near impossible.

Game of the Week: Chronic Habsturbators vs. Red Tiger

The Chronic Habsturbators once thought they had it all. After a clutch add of Pierre Garcon their owner can be quoted for saying "13-1! 13-1! 13-1." To make a short story long he is now 5-3. This two game slump has left Jonathan wondering a lot of things about life. Why do his parents not love him? Why is the other side of the bed so cold? Why has the entire SNFL gotten with his sister? Meanwhile John Lee pulled off a close one against themadoompaloompas, shutting down their late season turnaround. It's gonna be a close one for SFC dominance.

Who wins it: The Chronic Habsturbators

Why?: Jonathan has found solace in masturbating to a mediocre hockey team, so his focus has returned. Also CJ2K is out.

Game 2: Core Protection 4Ever vs. Las Tortugas Negras

Core Protection 4Ever is rocking a 6 game losing streak, the worst in SNFL history. After losing back to back MNF heartbreakers, he is pissed off and wanting to take his anger out on the first team that gets in his way. That team is Las Tortugas Negras, and they aren't going to take a thrashing sitting down. This is an SFC Pridematch at its finest. A win from CP4E would put them back into the playoffs race, while a win from Las Tortugas Negras would only solidify their 3rd place ranking.

Who wins it: Core Protection 4Ever

Why?: This game is just too important. Owner Fred Varn is very talented at getting his team to focus when it counts and with playoffs on the line he is going to get his team into it. Las Tortugas Negras don't stand a chance

Game 3: themadoompaloompas vs. The Disciples of Eleven

There were murmurs of a comeback from the once 0-5 madoompaloompas. After a close loss to Red Tiger in what has become known as the "pillow fight of the year" suffice it to say that the comeback has been shut down. The Disciples of Eleven aren't ready to give up their playoff berth despite the fact that they have posted two Worst of All Time scores in the SNFL.

Who wins it: The Disciples of Eleven

Why?: SFC vs. NFC. SFC wins as always.

Game 4: The DAWGS vs. The Carnegie PantyRaiders

The DAWGS have been causing a ruckus in the SNFL with their anti SFC articles. This kind of prejudice is frowned upon. No one really cares about this game because its two NFC teams but I have to pick it anyway because apparently both of these teams have a shot at being SNFL Champion (but seriously the idea of an NFC SNFL Champion is laughable).

Who wins it: The DAWGS

Why?: After The Carnegie PantyRaiders MNF bullshit against Core Protection they don't deserve to win another game and probably won't. They used all their luck on one game and now their team is going to be revealed for what it really is.

Game 5: The Ox vs. The Fear Boners (Mud Eaters)

Once again, another NFC matchup. Honestly who gives a fuck! Apparently it is the top 2 NFC teams playing each other but that equates to turtles running a footrace. The Mud Eaters escaped last week in MNF and their best player is arguably their kicker. The Ox stands strong quietly making a case for himself as best in the SNFL.

Who wins it: The Ox

Why?: Honestly I had to think about this one. Both teams look decent this week. I'm calling the Ox in an upset though on the sole purpose that one team's luck can only last for so long.

So there you have it.

Also some poser posted picks for me last week. Here were my real picks:

Core Protection 3D vs. The Mud Eaters: The Mud Eaters

Team Canuckistan vs. The Ox: Team Canuckistan

themadoompaloompas vs. Red Tiger: themadoompaloompas

The DAWGS vs. The Disciples of Eleven: The Disciples of Eleven

Las Tortugas Negras vs. The Carnegie PantyRaiders: Las Tortugas Negras

With that said my record currently is 19-16.

Good luck beating me this week. I'll announce the winners (aka none) in a special post next week.

Power Rankings - Week 9

	TEAM	RANK	REC	WHAT WE'VE LEARNED
	Mud Eaters	1 (1)	7-1	In Week 8, Dan Carpenter carried a backpack filled with everyone else on Kevin's team. But as much as this team has been lucky, they still have 2 wins over everyone else. Watch out.
	Chronic Habsturbators	2 (2)	5-3	Even after a brutal loss to Ryan last week, fantasy experts cannot overlook the fact that this team still averages 9 points a game over No. 3 The Ox.
	The Ox	3 (6)	5-3	This team had a strong showing in Week 8, even without a backup RB. However, the real test is yet to come, as Ryan cannot be carried by Orton and Lloyd this week.
	The DAWGS	4 (4)	4-4	Even though this team lost to the ever-unpredictable Disciples of Eleven, they put up good points and would have beaten most of the other teams. Expect the trend of strong weeks to continue for The DAWGS.
	Red Tiger	5 (3)	5-3	This team was extremely lucky to get a win in Week 8, as they finished a dismal 9th in week points. Had their matchup been any other team, they would have taken home a loss.
	Las Tortugas Negras	6 (7)	4-4	I think it's fair to say that Antonio Gates is the only reason Quinton has more than 2 wins this year. If he is out on Sunday, it's hard to imagine the Black Turtles winning against a rejuventated CP4E squad.
	Carnegie PantyRaiders	7 (5)	3-5	After winning by a hair in Week 7 due to Romo's injury and losing in Week 8 due to a bad performance, I think it's time for Jaime to stop blaming luck for his losses.
	Core Protection 4Ever	8 (8)	2-6	After the 2nd heartbreaking MNF loss in a row, the team affectionately known as The Core Oompaloompas of Eleven will surely begin to surge with an influx of new players. But how much trading is too much trading?
	Disciples of Eleven	9 (9)	3-5	This team completely raped face in Week 8, meaning they're due for a sub-60 point performance this coming week. Especially so after trading away two strong players in exchange for two players who happen to be on bye this coming week.
	themadoompaloompas	10 (10)	2-6	Just when it seemed like they were going to have a huge comeback, this team put up league-worst numbers (again) in Week 8. A loss to Garrick this week could be the end of their playoff hopes.

I'm out for now, I have to go disregard females and acquire currency. See you Sunday.

Vincere est totum,
Victoria aut mors,
Vivat SFC!

-Jon