| TEAM | RANK | REC | WHAT WE'VE LEARNED | |
 | Andre Johnson's Fist | 1 (1) | 11-2 | As much as we all hoped and prayed this entire season, Arian Foster did not get injured. Should we just give up and name Kevin the winner now? |
 | Chronic Habsturbators | 2 (2) | 9-4 | Is this team the fantasy equivalent of the Colts? So far they own the best regular-season record over 2 years (19-8) but have still not won a playoff game. |
 | The Ox | 3 (3) | 8-5 | Apparently drafting Owen Daniels in the 3rd round and a kicker in the 6th round gets you to the playoffs. Take notes kids! |
 | Core Protection | 4 (5) | 6-7 | If Fred wins any more games, we should probably get used to hearing WOOOSH OH MY DICK WOOSH I AM SO HARD WOOSH WOOSH WOOSH |
 | Carnegie PantyRaiders | 5 (4) | 6-7 | I thought Frank Gore's injury was just a fluke, but have Bowe's and Hillis' recent performances proven that karma indeed exists? |
 | The DAWGS | 6 (6) | 5-7 | For one, we learned Taylor really sucks cock at picking starters. And now with Taylor out, there's nobody left who can beat Kevin. |
 | El Cid | 7 (8) | 6-7 | This team will need strong performances from Cris Johson, Joe Flatto, Reggye Waine, and Josh Sccoobbe in order to beat Anrde Johnsin's Fist and secure a playoff berth. |
 | Eleven's Chosen Ones | 8 (7) | 5-8 | It's pretty amazing that this team is still in playoff contention after spending most of the season in last place. Props to Garrick for the clutch turnaround. |
 | themadoompaloompas | 9 (9) | 4-9 | A loss this week would equal The TRONS' record for worst regular season percentage. Too bad last place teams don't get a free pass to playoffs this year |
 | Las Tortugas Negras | 10 (10) | 5-8 | What is there left to say? I mean Quinton didn't draft his team so he (kinda) has an excuse, but finishing the season behind Bhavik in power rankings? That's just embarrassing. |
| LEGEND | |
| Clinched playoff spot | |
| Clinched playoff bye | |
| Eliminated from playoffs | |
-Jon
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